I haven't heard about the job I interviewed for, and I'm thinking I must not have gotten it. I am actually all right with that, as I was seriously stressed about making enough money to live off of with that job. Even if I did get the position I'd tell them I had to leave at the end of the month, which would give them more time to search for a new employee as they are "incredibly short-staffed right now" (their words).

In regards of my plans A through D, in the end I decided on a combination of C and D. I will hand out resumes in both my parents' town and in that of @Karonline1982. I will see what happens and just live wherever I can get a job. Karo told me that the more she thinks about it, the more she likes the idea of us being roomies. I think she just wants someone to join her misery when it comes to her upstairs neighbours *L0L* She's a great friend to have offered her spare bedroom when I know she likes living alone as much as I do... but I also think it would be fun to live together

She is such a fabulous friend that she suggested me for a job today. Apparently one of the parents at the daycare Karo works at wants to leave an administrative position at a church, the one Karo occasionally goes with her sister to. Karo isn't sure if they will be wiling to hire someone from outside the church, but the pay is decent and it is Monday through Friday (hours as yet unknown). Karo thought I should include my testimony with my resume since the church leaders don't know me, and I'm a little nervous about that.

I wasn't really sure what I should write about, but I made an attempt at it. I basically just did a stream of consciousness, rather than make it have a point I was trying to get across. I am posting it here for your thoughts and suggestions... and even if you're not religious, look at it as a writer or editor or a reader. Is it too long? Is it not detailed enough? Does it lack focus and seems scattered? Does it make sense? Is it moving or is it boring? And all those types of questions you would ask of any written text or speech. 

My Testimony

It was suggested I include my testimony with my resume, and I have to say when that was mentioned I froze. I had no idea how to go about writing one, or if I even had anything important to say. You see, there was never any huge revelation in my life. I don’t remember a time before knowing Christ as I was raised in a religious household. I was baptized as a baby at my maternal grandparents’ Anglican church, and attended my parents’ Brethren church growing up.

 Since I was six or seven my parents had been encouraging me to be baptized again by my own choice, saying I was now old enough to understand what it meant. I resisted every time my mother told me to do it, not because it was something I didn’t want to do, but rather something I did want to do at the right time. As much as I felt I should obey my mother, I knew this was something that had to be done when I was ready for it and not when she was ready for me to do it. I finally chose to be baptized as an adult on ??? (

 My family moved a lot while I was growing up, so I’ve been to a variety of different churches of different denominations. If the church we were attending had any youth programs I would join it –I was in Christmas pageants and Easter choirs, in Awanas and youth groups.  The place I loved the most, though, was a non-denominational church I started going to while I was in high school, the one through which I was baptized.

 I made wonderful friends there and it had a fabulous youth program. I joined the praise team, the choir, the youth group, the drama club, and helped out in the children’s class Sunday mornings when needed. More often than not I was found in the young adult class, for high school and college students. The leaders were my best friend’s parents who used to be missionaries in Ireland and Ecuador, and I found it easier to learn from them than I did upstairs with the adults.

 One evening at youth group, a leader handed us each a piece of paper and asked us to draw our relationship with God. We could choose whether to do it with crayons, pencils, or markers; we could choose to draw one picture or many. While the other teens were staring off into the middle-distance trying to decide what to do, I already had a picture in my head. It wasn’t something I had to stop to think about, it was just there. I drew a huge tree with a swing hanging from one of the wide branches, and a girl sitting among those leafy bows reading a book.

 My faith was something that grew with me, starting as a small seed and becoming sturdier like a tree that could support me whenever I needed it. I always trusted God would be there, and I just had to accept his plans for me. I am rarely one to become overly stressed about things, because I know God is in charge and will put me wherever I need to be. Wherever he needs me to be.

 My relationship with God just seemed this steady flow of progression, just always pleasantly moving along. I never felt I endured any great hardships, nothing that made me question my faith or ever turn my back on God. The only thing I really struggled with was reading the Bible, as I have trouble relating what I’m reading to my own life. I’ve always learned so much more by listening to other people, reading inspirational novels, and watching Christian-based movies. They give the same message, but in a different medium. While some might see this as a lack in myself, I have come to accept it is just the way I learn, it’s the way God made me.

 A lot of people have it in their head that religion is a bunch of rules to follow, of things you should and shouldn’t do, of all being a certain way like coming from a cookie cutter. While it is true that it is best not to sin, we are not perfect like God, and therefore we will not be identical. God made each one of us to be unique, and yet he loves us all the same.

 I guess that is why I focus on one thing: God is love. My favourite passage is First John verses seven though twelve –I even used it as the basis for an essay I had to write in a university class about Milton, the poet. It isn’t about religion or about rules or about sameness; it is having a loving relationship with God and the people around us. The Bible says to love each other because doing so is to know God, and I feel if we can’t accept people for who they are then we are denying who God is. By loving each other, God lives in us and allows us to be just a little closer to perfection. 

 I moved back to Toronto nearly two years ago to finish my education, but whenever I visit my parents I go to that church of my teenage years. It isn’t the same now, having a new speaker and no youth program, but it still has a lot of the wonderful people who were there for me while I trying to figure out what it is to be a good Christian. They still look for the hugs I had always given them, and still ask me up to sing with the praise team.  I have so many memories of feeling close God in that place and with those people. I haven’t yet found the right church for me since moving here, a place that makes me feel happy and loved whenever I walk through the door, but I haven’t stopped hoping to find it.

 For the past six months I have struggling, wondering what God wants me to do with my life. I graduated, but couldn’t find a job no matter how hard a tried. I ran out of savings and had to give notice at my apartment. I was facing moving back in with my parents, wondering if that was what God wanted for me even though it felt wrong or if he just wanted me to wait for the right job to come along at the right time.

 Exactly one month to the day of my intended move from Toronto, a friend of mine told me about this job opportunity of a church looking for an administrator. She works at a day care and one of the parents had mentioned it, so she told them about me and that she thought I’d be perfect for it. My friend said I could move in with her and that we would figure out a way for me to get to and from work should I get the job. All I can do now is pray… 

  SUMR

Oopsies! I totally forgot to update on how well I'm keeping up with this year's resolutions for the month of February. So here it is...

1. Go for a half-hour walk once a week and ten push-ups a day
Yeah, I kind of forgot about doing that for the most part. I did get some walking in, but that was more part of other things I was doing rather than for exercise. 

2. Brush and floss teeth before going to bed every night
Some times I cheated and just brushed or fluoride rinsed, instead of flossing and brushing and gargling, but I was more consistent. 

3. Do something social twice a month with or without friends
The very first weekend into the month I went to Casa Loma! I hated spending thirty bucks on a self-tour and food, but the place was stunning and worth going to. I hung out with a couple friends when I was visiting my parents over the long weekend, and the next weekend @Karoline1982 and I had another girls' day.  I hung out with Adorkable, but that counts more towards point number four... 

4. Go on a date if someone asks (provided they aren't creepy) 
I made plans to meet with one of the guys from the dating site, and ended up hanging out with him for four hours. I also made plans with a few others to meet for hot chocolate, but hadn't had time to actually meet. I also went out for pizza with one of my male friends, but since he has a gf I don't really think that counts as a date. 

5. Work on assignments for at an hour every day -two if still unemployed
I am still not managing to do this every day, and really really need to. 

6. Write for an hour a week on any WiP
Well, if it was just writing for an hour every week I would have that covered with the emails on the dating site, but as for my "novels" not so much. 

7. Save and plan for UK dream vacation
Does trying to get a job count towards this? I think it does.  

  SUMR

As y'all know I've been hoping I can stay in Toronto, but it all hinges on getting a job and being allowed to stay in my apartment even though I already gave my two months notice. I've been working on the math of my options, and they aren't looking too pretty... 

(A) If I stay in Toronto in my current apartment my monthly expenditures of rent, phone, net, insurance, and laundry add up to $900.There would also be the occasional ttc trip of about $3 per ride when need be. This was the option I was planning on, but I'm not sure I will be able to afford it with a part time job. If I get the job, it means I would have to retract my two month's notice for moving from the apartment, but what if I find out the job isn't enough to cover my expenses? I wouldn't have the money to pay the rent for giving two months notice again.

(B) If I move in with Karo and have a job in toronto my rent, phone, insurance, and transpo would be approximately $1000+. I didn't include laundry or net as Karo said those are within the rent. This is obviously the most expensive option, and to be avoided because it just isn't financially feasible. 

(C) If I move in with Karo and manage to get a job in her town, my cost of living is lowered to being around $700. It covers the rent, phone, insurance, and local transportation to the job I would hope to get. The cost is much better, but there still wouldn't be much -if anything- left over to save up for my own place or moving back into the city. The benefit would be that it is farily close to the city and I could commute to any interviews with a publishing company (the transpo would cost about $30 per trip). Should I get a job in TO, though, I'd either have to do option B or find a new apartment in the city and hope to heck I can afford it by then. 

D) The final option is to move back in with my parents for about six to eight months where I'd probably only have to pitch in about $100 to cover net, phone, insurance, and car privileges. While the idea of living with my parents at twenty-eight is rather unpleasant, the worst part would be the lack of privacy, my parents incessant arguing, and figuring out how to get to the GTA should I get an interview ($50-100+ for commute). The benefit of this option is I'd be able to save up my money much easier and faster, provided I can find a job. 

I am not as pleased with any of these options as I had been over the weekend when talking them over with Karo. That is what being forced to work out a budget and do maths does to me, I suppose, it leads me into being stressed and unhappy. And you may have noticed, all of that is NOT including other things like groceries, clothing, medical (glasses, dentist, prescriptions), or anything of a similar nature *0y*

I honestly can't figure out what the best thing to do is. Any advice? 

SUMR

This has been a crazy three days.

I should mention that I was a wee bit psycho to walk home from my interview on Friday afternoon. Normally I would think nothing of the trek, but it was raining and I was wearing three-inch heeled knee boots. I was rather wet and foot-sore by the time I got back to my apartment, and, while I got over the chill, my poor footsies were rather battered and bruised. It was to the point where I had to soak them in the tub at 3am Saturday morning just to get some relief from the throbbing pain... and that is how I know that Adorkable emailed me at that time 

That's right, the vanishing male got in touch with me claiming to have been out of province and busy studying for his midterm exams.  While it is a well known fact that I'm not entirely logical in my way of thinking, I would think it might be de rigueur to have mentioned that little tidbit. I mean, I told him I was going out of town for the long weekend, so it would have been nice had he mentioned flying to the other side of the country for a week. 

Needless to say, after being up so late, I slept in until just after noon. @Karoline1982 came over for our movie fest, except we ended up talking for the most part and only watched one movie. I told Karo she could come on xanga so she could actually comment on everyone's posts as she couldn't do so on her phone. I ended up making chocolate cupcakes all by myself while she did so... okay, she cracked the eggs for me since I always make a huge mess when I try 

One of the things we talked about was my needing a job and a place to live so I could stay in the GTA. We printed off a bunch of resumes and headed to her place with the plan that I would hand them out the next afternoon. Right when I was packing her own male-with-issues finally text her to ask what she was up to, so we invited him to watch movies with us at Karo's place, too. 

He really is an all-around rather nice guy, so I can see why Karo likes him so much! It turns out he and I have similar taste in movies and outvoted Karo on a few of her suggestions *L0L* We had such fun that it was the wee hours in the morning before we realized the time and he ended up crashing, too. Next time that happens I'm just going to tell him he can share Caro's bed so I can have both foam mattresses for the floor, because just the one sooo wasn't cutting it 

She took him home the next day while I stayed at her place and worked on a bit of editing after raiding her cd collection for some tunes. I wasn't feeling the greatest after a night on the floor and my allergies were acting up a bit. I'm undecided whether it was dust embedded into the carpet or the scent of her laundry detergent. Karo and I ended up watching another movie, Courageous, rather than doing the resume-blitz. (BTW, Courageous is a fantastic movie, yet sad, and also hints at the purity promise ceremony I blogged about here.)

Today I once again slept in -I'm really going to need to fix that pronto- and started working on my editing. I am about two weeks behind because I've been incredibly lazy lately, procrastinating when I shouldn't be. When my phone rang I nearly ignored it, thinking it was just political people calling again to tell me about some election or another. After about three or four rings, I answered it just in case it was something else. 

It was the toy store I interviewed at, asking me in for another interview with the other co-owner who hadn't been there last time. They interviewed me this past Friday, saying they had other interviews early the following (aka this) week... but call me on the first day of the week? I wonder how many interviews they had this morning and how they turned out... It makes me wonder if I was so great they just wanted final approval by this second owner, or they wanted me back just to ensure they were right in picking someone they interviewed today 

Then, just moments ago, I got a text. Do you recall the belated birthday bash I had back in December? Well, I hadn't heard from my one friend since then and I wondered if it was because he realized I disliked his new girlfriend. Well, I suppose she isn't new since he'd been dating her about a year, but I had never met her before and thus she was "new" to me. Anyways, he text to say he was in town and invited me to dinner. I said I couldn't tonight as I am attempting to catch up on my editing, but asked for a raincheck and so we're going to hang out on Wednesday. I'm hoping that he doesn't ask me what he thought about his girlfriend or if I'm still upset about what she did, because that would be tres awkward. I'm not about to let the situation ruin my friendship with him however, and I'd hate to loose it after a dozen years. 

If my week begins like all that, it makes me wonder just how the rest of this week will turn out! *L0L*

SUMR

I got a notice on wednesday that my landlord was going to be showing my apartment the next day I have no idea if I am supposed to stay or go, but I presumed not being in residence during it would be best. I mean, how uncomfortable would that be to see someone else looking over your apartment and things? So I intended to go to the library or even just the grocery store, but I was feeling lazy. I planned to go to the laundry room to hang out at the table with my laptop, but the scented detergents was bothering me and I lasted only a couple minutes.

I ended up sitting on the stairs by the front door "pretending" I was waiting for someone. A guy came to the outside doors and yanked on them, scaring the bejabbers out of me since I was texting at the time, then waited for me to open them. I guess he's not bright enough to realize he needs buzzing into the building. He asked if I was waiting for the person coming to look at an apartment so I knew it was the person come to look at mine. I said nothing but directed him to the landlord's apartment. 

I then went outside because I didn't want to be hanging around when she went to take him into my apartment (they would have to pass me if I stayed inside). I just hung out in front, still like I was "waiting" for a ride. They weren't in my apartment long, as when the guy came out a few minutes later he asked if I lived there. I said I did and asked what floor apartment he was looking at -for all I knew he was looking at more than one here. I told him it was a good neighbourhood and no bedbugs, but the outside door bangs really loudly if he's on the ground floor.

He asked about people upstairs and I said you can hear them when they vacuum and such, so now the guy thinks I'm just really sensitive to noise. If he takes the apartment he's in for a rude awakening with the door! It honestly wakes me up it's so loud! I asked if he was taking the apartment and he said he was still looking around, especially since they said the apartment wouldn't be ready right away as the bathroom needs to be redone.

Wha?!  They want to redo the bathroom after I move, though I complained about it in October and did nothing? *grrr* But it means the pink tile isn't going to be a deterrent in his decision, which is what I had been hoping for when I saw it was a guy coming to see it. I mean, how many forty-some year old men would want to have a pink bathroom? And I mean a LOT of pink as the tiles go halfway up the wall on two walls and nearly to the ceiling in the shower. I also know that the advertisement on viewit shows one of the upper level apartments with a balcony, so I hope he wanted one of those and therefore wont want mine. 

Shortly before all this I got a phone call... The importance of this call is that it was for an interview at this indie toy store that isn't far from the library. I must go by it nearly every week, and sometimes I'm unable to resist going inside to look at all the cute things. One of my old professors at the college knows the manager and he told me she asked if he knew me as she saw I went to school there. I am hoping that will give me an "in"

They asked if I was still interested in working there as they have a position opening for part-time. They just lost a person who worked up to 35 hours and they are looking to replace her. They told me this position is only 24-30 hours per week, but it depends if they decide to hire one or two people. I should know by mid next week if I got it -I was the first they interviewed- and would start with a staff meeting on the 4th of March. Hopefully the hours would start immediately thereafter. 

I arrived to the interview a good fifteen minutes early, so I wandered about the store until they were ready for me. They have some really cute things, not the usual mass merchandise you'd find a toys r us. They even have a pirate boat in the middle of the store piled with things, a book nook with huge stuffed animals and tiny chairs, and a table covered with a train set While I was checking out things I noticed the price tags were a little hefty, but a lot of the stuff is eco-friendly which might account for part of that. I have to say I was terribly tempted by this adorable penguin lunch box... 

I was told that they would like someone to be responsible for the book section, to "specialize" in that area, as it sounds like everyone has at least one type of product they know really well. Needless, to say, I'd have no problem with that! They also just started using facebook and twitter, which a couple of the younger people know how to use but not the owners or managers. Yet another thing I could definitely take a large hand in. They even do crazy things at least once a month, and last week they had a pajama day!

The only catch to this is that should I get the job, I'll have to pay next month's rent as I was intending to use my last month deposit. And that is only if no one decides to rent out my apartment before I get the job! I don't have enough money for rent and my internet bill, let alone my cell phone bill and groceries. My dad said he could loan me the money for my internet, and hope I get paid before my cell phone bill is due. I don't know how it's going to work out if I consistently get only 24 hours per week. If they so much as take off 50$ per cheque in taxes and whatnot, I'm cant even afford my bills let alone food or transportation or paying my parents back. 

So keep your fingers, toes, and eyes crossed for me! And pray like mad that it will all work out!!!

SUMR

Okay, maybe not all boys are stupid since y'all of the male persuasion who read my blog are obviously smart and of good taste I thank you very much for your loyalty and general awesomeness. 

No, it just seems that I am having no better luck with online dating than any of my other friends. I met a boy, hoped to spend more time with the boy, and then don't hear from said boy again. I thought he'd be an awesome friend, and possibly had the potential to be something more if the chemistry was there.

Things seemed to be going great. We emailed nearly every day and instant messaged each other for hours at a time. We hung out for hours and he said he wanted to meet up again. We texted a bit when I was road-tripping with my cousin and a little the next day. Then I didn't hear so much as a word from him for nearly a week, which is only concerning because we had been corresponding pretty much every day. I sent him an email yesterday morning, thinking that wasn't too invasive or pushy, and had hoped he might message me back at some point. I haven't seen him on IM, but I have seen him on the dating website. The thing that is troubling me is the fact that even though he's obviously online, he seems to also be obviously ignoring me. And not even so much as an "it's been nice", which is rather disappointing. 

I know guys need their space -I need mine too!- so I tried not to be too "clingy" by frequently messaging him after meeting. One of my guy friends told me that being in contact every day with a girl feels suffocating unless he realized he can't go a day without talking to her, so I was trying to keep that in mind. I do keep in contact with my friends at least every other day or so ( @Karoline1982 and I probably text every day ), but since he doesn't know me that well yet I tried to keep initiating things at a minimum on my part. Was that the wrong thing to do? 

I had been getting a bit bored by the site anyways, after just three weeks. I have been contemplating quitting it since the thrill of getting emails is totally gone and now a bit of a hindrance. It seems that the guys on the site expect to either get messages every day or meet quite quickly, and I cannot do either. I don't mind that some of them started dropping like flies, but it always seems that someone new takes their place. Yes, I am complaining that too many guys are emailing me *L0L* but that is because some of them obviously don't read my profile and cannot even use correct sentence structure. At first I emailed everyone, then I started sending my regrets to new people because I couldn't handle more correspondence, now I just ignore the ones that have boring profiles or emails and only talk to those with something to say. 

I guess the next time someone pesters me about trying online dating when they find out I'm single, I can say "Yes, I've tried. It just didn't work out for me."

SUMR

This weekend was fabulous! Okay, not the entire weekend, but it was nevertheless a pretty good holiday. My dad was going to pick me up after work on Friday so I could take a bunch of my things in a preemptive move of moving. I hate the idea that I will be living with my parents for a time at my age, but I'm completely out of funds by the end of next month (I know, you've heard it before. Sorry!). I lucked out though as my cousin said she planned to drive down to visit our grandparents and asked if I wanted a ride since she has to pass by my place anyways

I am ever so thankful that I was with her, because the traffic was abysmal  My dad gets some severe road rage and, while my cousin doesn't particularly like people or traffic, she is at least amusing when she rants. The amount of time it took us just to get out of the GTA was the same amount of time it should have taken us to get to the grand's house. Instead, the entire trip ended up being FOUR AND A HALF FREAKING HOURS!!! We were lucky if we managed to go 30km when we should have been going at least 100km *shakes head*

I was supposed to get together with another cousin on Saturday because she wants to learn how to crochet. She had asked on of our aunts, but was told our aunt didn't have time. Then when I got down I was told the aunt would be helping my cousin and I wasn't needed, especially since my cousin was supposed to go to her dad's that weekend and wouldn't be in town herself. Turns out that my aunt can't read patterns in the least and I was needed after all. I'm not great at reading patterns, but I can generally figure out most of them. My Saturday ended up involving sleeping in, doing laundry, and reading. 

I thought I would be going to church on Sunday, but we didn't. I could have gone alone, but wasn't to. My dad told the church he couldn't work the PA system that day because he would be driving me back to my apartment. We ended up deciding that I wasn't going back until Monday as it's a day off, but he didn't want to tell them the change in our plans. I guess he really wanted to sleep in!

Mum and I were supposed to go shopping that afternoon, but it ended up being this huge caffuffle. She wasn't feeling well and said she couldn't go, so I asked a friend if she wanted to come shopping with me (I'm looking for bridesmaid shoes). When I got out of the shower mum said she was feeling better if I still wanted to go shopping, but when I asked her if she was ready she said she already told me she wasn't feeling well and was only going in the first place because I asked her. The thing is, she emailed me before I came down this weekend, asking me to go shopping with her to look for jewellery for a different wedding, and I said I would go because I wanted to look for shoes for my friends' wedding. My mum just cannot communicate, and blames everyone else for not understanding her. Is it any wonder that we can't?!?!

I ended up going shopping with my dad, because my mum didn't feel I should be driving when I haven't all year. The weather wasn't even bad -no rain or snow- and I could have gone without a problem. My dad ended up wasting an entire hour of his afternoon watching me try on shoes. We then stopped by my grandparents' house so I could have a visit with them. I ended up watching TV most of the time, as my gramma was working on her puzzle, and my dad and grandpa chatted about incomprehensible guy things. The only time my gramma spoke to me was to say that there were lots of jobs in the area I could have, like becoming a millwright or working in a factory. Needless to say I'm not all that impressed with the job prospects in the area, especially since my friends are moving out of town just to get jobs. 

The aforementioned friend came over after all of that took place, and we hung out in my room for a bit before deciding to go to the craft store. We had planned on going to Zellers as well, but the place closed the same time as the mall for some unfathomable reason. The best thing about walmart and zellers was that you could go there after the mall closed, but I guess they decided against that now. I talked B into staying for dinner since my parents had already planned on her and made extra food. I was kind of surprised by that since not only was my mum not feeling well, but they hardly ever allowed me to have friends over for dinner. 

Since B lives out of town and hadn't seen our other friend Buttercup in a while either, I invited him over after dinner. B was going to leave shortly thereafter, but Buttercup and I were going to go for a walk. For some reason he actually likes walking and has on more than one occasion dragged us out with him. B had the excuse of improper footwear -brand new and painful- as well as being pregnant and her husband was probably wondering what was keeping her, thus getting out of the excursion. I didn't mind, though I sometimes feel awkward since there doesn't seem to be much we can talk about. Whenever I ask about what he's been up to, he only ever mentions work and school. He likes playing video games and watches a fair amount of television, neither of which I am knowledgeable about. We got some Timmys and wandered around the park for a bit, then just sat in his car and talked. After that we drove around until it was time for him to go to work (he does night security three to four days a week). 

He's finally quitting smoking, which he's done for a good twelve years I think he's said. I've bugged him and B a little every few months saying they should both stop. I don't pester them, because I know that ticks smokers off, but whenever some topic comes up in which I can fit it in I never hesitate to do so It was his first day and only a little testy, but I didn't notice a difference other than him saying he wanted a cigarette. Every time he did so I'd give him a hug and say he didn't really want to smoke, he just thought he did. 

It was really great seeing them both again as I miss my friends when I'm away. Okay, I will admit I still kind of have a crush on Buttercup *rolls eyes* I generally completely forget that little fact until I'm actually with him and I realize it all over again. He said he never noticed  I ever had a crush on him until B told him I used to, so I hope I don't act any different around him than I ever have. I'm okay with us never dating, but I'd hate if it made him feel like we shouldn't hang out any more. Since I'm moving back, I'm grateful we're friends since he'll be the only one who lives within a fifteen minute drive of my parents' house!

Monday my dad said he wanted to leave no later than 10am, but we didn't leave town until noon. I had packed my clothes and some groceries the night before and, even though I didn't get to sleep until nearly 6am I still got up at nine! I showered and was ready to go, but he ended up talking on the phone with a friend for over an hour. I just wanted to get on the road and hopefully go back to sleep, though sadly that didn't happen.

Dad and I packed up the car with even more things for him to take home (I had already filled my cousin's trunk with some things). Right before my dad was about to leave, the landlady came back and yelled at him for being in a no parking zone. It wasn't like he was leaving the car there, it was just while we loaded my boxes into the vehicle which only took about ten minutes. Thankfully he didn't yell back at her though she threatened to call the police on him if he did it again. I was worried that it might mean that should I get a job I'd still have to leave my apartment because my dad is "a trouble-maker".

After he left I cleaned and unpacked my clothes. I desperately wanted a nap, but I was hoping I would get to sleep at a decent hour if I didn't. I ended up not falling asleep until 4am the next day *bah* Which means I was so exhausted when I got up and had such a bad headache, I wasn't feeling up to walking to the library or working on my editing. I nearly fell asleep this evening, but couldn't because I had a work meeting to attend. Now it is nearly midnight and I once again cant seem to sleep! 

SUMR

So today was my date with Mr Adorkable.

I was incredibly nerve-wracked in thinking it would not go well. I planned to tell him I had only a couple hours at most to hang out, since I still had to get some work done today, but mostly in fear that we'd have nothing to talk about. The fact that we can instant message for hours on end didn't convince me that it wouldn't be incredibly awkward. For safety @Karoline1982 and I came up with code questions and answers to text each other at certain times. I would prefer meeting someone for the first time when out with friends, but I felt comfortable enough with him to meet in a public place by myself. 

He and I decided to meet at a subway station as he knew of a coffee shop and a bookstore nearby. He had told me about the store before, and thought I'd love it.  He was right because the bookstore was fabulous! It was much bigger than it appeared and had three floors of wall-to-wall books.  I simply must go back when I have the money as they have some older novels that I really want to buy. Adorkable thought it was a used bookstore, but if the prices are discounted they certainly weren't stickered as such. It has some really old books that were upward $70, too! 

We were together for nearly five hours, just talking about various things. On the ground floor of the store it was mostly just about books and authors we like and a little about university classes, but the more stairs we climbed the more personal things got. We went on to our childhoods and our families, but also random things like music preferences and even what board games we like to play. I discovered that he doesn't know a thing about classic movies, and barely knows any actors in newer movies. 

It was funny, but patrons kept coming up to us asking us if we worked there. We had been there so long, just browsing the shelves, that we actually knew where to direct people *L0L* Sometimes we were sitting on the floor chatting, or he'd be standing while I was up a ladder, etc. I was a bit klutzy at first -I think from jittery nerves- managing to fall over and hurt my hand, hit the back of my head off the shelves three times, and stumbled coming down from a step-stool. The longer we were together, the more relaxed I was and stopped managing to injure myself so much. 

I actually hadn't heard Karo's first text, but when I pulled out my phone to take a picture of a pretty stained glass window I saw she had messaged. I didn't even notice an hour had passed! I did reply then that things were going well in our secret code, so she wouldn't worry. I did hear my phone the second time, but my purse was on the floor near Adorkable and I was up a ladder. I thought it would be very rude to scramble to answer it when I knew it was her. Since Karo already knew things were going well, I figured she would realize that I was having a good a time but unable to answer. 

After a while my stomach started growling and I hoped he didn't hear it. But by 6:30pm my single bowl of cereal just wasn't cutting it any more, I needed food! I pointed out the time thinking one of two things would happen: we'd go to the coffee shop or we would end things for the day. He mentioned he still had to study for an exam in the morning, and I do still have to get some editing done tonight as well, so he walked me back to the tube. He said he had a good time and thought we should get together again; I didn't even think to voice that, I just felt like I knew him for ages and it seemed natural that of course we would hang out!

I texted Karo so she'd know I left his company still alive, and headed for home and supper. I am still grinning like a loon because I had such a fantastic time! I mean, this guy opened doors for me and walked me back to the station when he was going the other way and is just so incredibly sweet. He also hugged me hello and when we parted, y'all know how I am about hugs  While I put on the dating site I was only looking for friends, I think he might have the potential of being more... and he's not even irish! 

SUMR

Well, it is that time of the year again, my annual post about valentines day! This time I will divide my post into two sections, so choose whichever you feel most comfortable with. 

Happy Valentine's Day!
Filled with mushy sayings and cutesy pictures of all things lovey-dovey.

Happy Single-Awareness Day!
For those who just want to toss their cookies if they see one more cupid. 

SUMR

Yesterday I was feeling singularly ill. I jokingly blame it on the fact it was cleaning day as I was tidying my apartment and packing up some things to go home next weekend. I was at it all afternoon and into the evening. I had to stop a couple times, thinking I'd be ill, and either read a bit of my book or watched a movie until I couldn't sit still any longer. I even washed all my dishes at two in the morning!

Needless to say, I slept in and did not go to the library as planned. I decided to start going there a couple times a week to work on my editing as I seem to get so distracted whenever I stay in the apartment. I figured going to "the office" would make me work as it would be harder to stop to watch a movie or read my book. So while I had planned to do my editing from home today, when I woke up I checked my email in hope that I would hear from the company I contacted in regards to the promised interview. It turns out that they decided not to hire anyone at present, and thus no interview. I was really counting on that job! I ended up spending the entire afternoon search the Job Bank for positions I qualify for and applying to them. Sadly, there were only half a dozen that I might be considered for as I actually don't quite have all the experience they would like. 

I am trying to prepare myself for the idea that I will in fact likely be moving from the city. The trouble is that it just feels so off, so wrong. All this stress is giving me a headache, so staying on the computer trying to edit wasn't working but neither was trying to read my book. I just couldn't concentrate on either and ended up praying for some direction. I got up and grabbed my bible, arbitrarily opening it to a page and started reading. I ended up at Isaiah chapter fifty-five. It talks about money and of feeding your soul, but most importantly it had a verse that I know well: "My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Basically it was a reminder that I don't have to understand what God is doing, just that it is what is best for me. The problem is that I don't know if it is just my hopes and desires that are making me feel as though leaving the city isn't the thing to do, or if this really is where I am supposed to be. I know I am should let go of my worries and let God take care of everything, but it is so hard not to be stressed about being jobless. Before anyone of you say "God helps those who help themselves" that isn't in the Bible, apparently Benjamin Franklin said that. God said to cast your cares unto him and not to depend on yourself or man. 

I tried to read a few more passages, but I couldn't figure out how they applied to my life, so I took that as a sign I was given all I was going to get or need. On impulse I ended up running to the mail room by the apartment entrance while still in my pajamas to see if I received anything. While there are no valentines cards or chocolates, I did get something better: books! A couple weeks back this fairly new publishing company found my blog and asked if I wanted to review a couple of their books. I sent back an email saying yes and asking if they had any job openings -sadly, the best they will have is an internship in April. I am rather excited to have gotten them, but it hasn't completely cured my anxiety. 

I just hope I can settle, get down to work, and just be happy that I was able to stay in Toronto as long as I have. Rather ironically, right when I might be leaving I meet someone on that dating site I told y'all I started going on. I agreed to meet up later this week with one of the guys I got emailing with and thus will be satisfying at least one of my new year's resolutions. At the very least I think I will have made an interesting new friend as we can i.m. for hours about books and dancing and family and, oh, everything. If I had to describe him in a word, it would be "adorkable". Keep your fingers crossed that goes well! 

SUMR