A fair bit has happened since April. The play is finished, May and June were pretty crazy months as we were gearing up for the performance and then doing 16 shows. I messed up a couple times, usually once per night, but didn’t think much of it. I had practiced as much as I could and even wrote out all my lines every day as part of my show-prep. I think it went really well!

In July I got a new editing assignment, and that’s just been a real… mess. It was supposed to be three novellas, but the author says three anthologies, and the agent says nine short stories. We finally got things sorted -three collections consisting of seven short stories- but the author and the agent are both aggravating. Well, the agent might just be due to the author being annoying to both of us and having to deal with it. I’m thankfully almost done these stupid things!

The freelance editing job I had last summer that took twice as long to do half the book was sent back to the author last fall to fix the second half before I looked at it. He finally emailed the whole thing back to me. I guess he edited the first half before rewriting the second half… and that’s probably a good thing so he’d know what to fix! As soon as the aggravating agented author project is finished, I’ll get back to this one.

For August I had six days of full-time work to do a project at the day job. I needed a day or two more to finish up, but boss-lady said I was taking too long and gave it to the new intern she hired. He messed it up and I was emailed at home to finalize the project. Sadly, unless I can sneak the hours onto my time card gradually, I won’t get paid for it.

Both the intern and a new girl had been hired when Ali said she was leaving. With their coming, going out the window was the promise I’d get more hours when Boss-lady had her baby. Boss-lady had tried to entice Ali to stay, saying she’d put Ali in a management position and hire new people as she wants to revamp the company. Ali asked her why not just give me more hours rather than hire more workers, but Boss-lady had no answer to that. I think over the Christmas holidays last year my boss decided she no longer liked me and wished I would go away.

Anyways, Ali left and the intern was by himself for a whole week because Boss-lady wants to stay close to home near her due date and refused to give me more hours. I came in for my shift and he was just sitting there playing on the computer. He’s supposed to be covering for the new girl who couldn’t start until today or doing his own “job” of sales, but he didn’t know what to work on. Seems he isn’t as “bright” as boss-lady claimed and I had to give him a list of things to do. He messed up one thing and I had to not only rewrite it, but beg Ali to redo the layout because I had no access to the necessary file.

September means I’m all the more closer to both the voyage to Caro’s wedding and to my expected SWAP departure—if all goes well. I’ll be starting a travel blog that’s geared more to the general experience, or maybe written with the intent to become a novel once all is said and done. I expect I’ll be blogging more here for the more personal aspect of the adventure… y’know, the whinging about my job and drooling after cute men with accents

❤ SUMR

Em and I went to high school together and connected over a love of books along with an obsession with Ireland. For years we’ve talked about how amazing it would be to live in Ireland, and discussed going there together as neither of us loved the idea of travelling to a foreign country alone.

So when I decided to do a SWAP, I had to tell her about it. She said she’d look into it but never did, not until I told her about figuring out how a person could actually live in Ireland for FOUR years if they wanted (aside from the time between that one must return home in order to apply for a new visa).

To me, this is the perfect time to go! Neither of us are in debt, nor have jobs or family to keep us here. Em is actually an author so she could just as easily write a novel somewhere in the Brit Isles as she could from home. In fact, she said she wanted to go there as research for a book!

Because of all all that, I was a bit astounded by her response as it was entirely lacking in enthusiasm about what an amazing opportunity this is. I just can’t figure out where her mindset is and perhaps she thinks the same of me considering I haven’t heard from her since.

I’m going to copy below what she wrote me:
I suppose you have to look at the long-term. What’s your ultimate goal? What do you want to do as a career? Are you going to get there and end up working in a pub or an office? What if the career you want isn’t available there? What if you assume you’re going to love it, but you actually hate it and you’re miserable yet you’ve put a lot of time and effort into getting there?

I’d love to do a few weeks or even a few months in Ireland and, while I’m there, see the other things I want to see – a ferry to Scotland, a train to England, the Channel to France, etc. And the actual Ireland swap is 18-35 which made me feel a bit better than the one that’s just up to 30.

Have I really sounded like I hadn’t put much thought into this? I’ve only been dreaming of Ireland for fifteen years and considered doing the SWAP thing off and on for much of that time. Maybe I haven’t planned as much as I could have, but I don’t want to just take a few weeks to see what I can and then come home. Why would I when I can spend the same amount of money to move there for two years and establish myself in a job so I’ll have time to see everything and more?!

Do I expect to love it? Yes, but I am not ignorant of the fact I might downright despise travelling… Yet the only way to learn is to go do it! I was homesick for a while when I moved for school, but I got over it. Everything has its good and bad points, but the whole reason of doing something like this is for the adventure of it all!

My ultimate goal is to follow my dream of travelling to the British Isles. No matter how much time and effort and money I put towards this, I’ll know that I tried and succeeded. By doing this, even if I find it isn’t what I thought it would be, I’ll have a better understanding of who I am and what I can do.

Quite frankly I don’t see how what I want for a career even matters. I am going to the UK for the adventure, and if I happen find a position that forwards my career plans then BONUS! I fully expect I might end up working in a dead-end job just for the privilege of living in a foreign country, but I’m okay with that. It’s no different than my current situation of trying to get anything that will pay the bills except all the people will have accents and there will be locations I haven’t yet handed out resumes to.

The thought that I won’t make friends is completely bogus, because I almost always make friends. I will have five freaking countries full of potential mates, and I’m sure at least a few of them will be willing to make my acquaintance. I’ve already been talking to other past and future swappers online, so I may have friends before I even leave my home!

As for falling in love…Well…I hope so. I know it might not happen and even if it does the relationship could end badly, but the same might occur no matter where I am. You don’t choose when or where you fall in love, it just happens when it’s meant to happen. I happen to think it will happen in Ireland, but that’s just me.

I am so sick and tired of putting off my dreams, of hearing naysayers, of feeling like I’m in a holding position until my life can start! I know I’ve got to do this, I’ve got to leave this country because there is honestly nothing for me here.

❤ SUMR

I mentioned last week that I was disappointed to discover I couldn’t do the UK SWAP after I did one in Ireland due to my age. I think it’s totally bogus that all countries don’t allow you to be up to 35 to do a work exchange, because sometimes it can take a while to pay off school loans. I don’t know about other people, but I don’t want to be touring the country while my debts go into collections.

When I mentioned my sadness (but not my age-related rant), I was told I could do a UK SWAP now and then one to Ireland after. I knew that was an option, and yet it wasn’t. I did not want to put off going to Ireland again, even though people told me I could visit as much as I wanted while living in England. There was also the worry of if I’d manage to get money saved up again in order to do an Ireland SWAP right after the UK one as time will be tight in order to make that age deadline too.

And then I looked into the UK SWAP anyways, because I didn’t want to miss a possible opportunity to live in my second-on-the-list of my travel bucket list. I don’t understand how I could have so stupidly forgotten NORTHERN IRELAND IS PART OF THE UK!

Yeppers, Ireland has a north and a south with each belonging to a different swap program. I could do the UK SWAP and live in Northern Ireland if I wanted… but I think I’d only want to be there for 6-12 months and use the rest of my time to live in Scotland…or Wales… or jolly ol’ England. If I had trouble finding a job in a particular country or really hated living there, I have three other countries to choose from!

There is still the small worry of getting up enough funds to also to an Ireland SWAP or the government deciding to change their age-range down to 30, but I’m thinking it’s a risk I should take so I could spend four years absorbing the varying cultures that make up the British Isles…

If you were me, what would you do?

❤ SUMR

As I mentioned in my last post, I had just been hired for a new company as a “technical writer”. It is a resume and cover letter writing service, and that is what I will be doing… or so he says. As yet, there have been no clients asking for my services though PB has been advertising like crazy.

There has been one change though, or perhaps two. First, it seems PB’s other company has had a sudden boom and he will no longer have time to do much for this one other than the sales&ad thing. This means I am now in charge of dealing with the phone calls and emails that he claims have been coming in but of which I have yet to see. I am hoping for mostly emails, because my poor cell phone package can’t handle a lot of calls. PB said he’d pay for increasing my plan, but I don’t feel I can accept until we actually have some clients (or at least until if affects my bill).

The other thing that has come up is that PB would like me to write some articles related to writing cover letters and resumes, as well as job hunting. I am looking forward to this part of the business as I love writing! What I would like are “beta readers” who will get an advance look at my articles and can let me know what they think. This may be something more common in the writing process for novels, but I don’t want my work being seen by people if it is boring or filled with errors! So if anyone is interested in giving me some constructive criticism every once in a while, just let me know!

❤ SUMR

A fair bit has happened since I last wrote to the point that I’m not even sure where to start! I kept meaning to write, but never actually got around to it… and that is something I constantly say lately. I really need to start doing rather than saying I’m going to and then not. In this case there isn’t much I can do now except write about as much as I can remember!

Christmas was all right and I had to attend about five or six gatherings, but I managed to come down with an ear/throat/sinus infection shortly thereafter. Thankfully I was not ill on boxing day as that was the annual Ugly Sweater Party held by Sunnie’s parents. This is the second one I’ve attended, but Buttercup bailed on coming with me this time as he was sick (or so he claimed). There were a lot of people from the local theatre guild there, and we spent most of the night discussing the upcoming auditions for the musical *L0L* Unlike last year where I just dug out one of my dad’s old sweaters, I had thought ahead and crocheted myself a jumper… thus winning the prize for best Christmas sweater!

I was feeling wretched for New Years and so did nothing for it, and actually had to stay home from work the first week we were to return because I was still unwell. Upon my arrival the following Monday, I was informed by boss-lady that my hours were being cut once again and now only to work one afternoon a week. Needless to say that is utterly ridiculous and told her I’d have to start looking for a new job. I said I’d stay on here as long as possible, but may have to leave if I found something full-time… not that I expect too considering a nearby factory just let go 500-800 people.

I planned on writing up a new cover letter and resume, but boss-man asked me to help with a special project that had to be finished by the end of the month. While this meant I was getting more pay, it also meant I wasn’t able to spend a lot of time working on my resume and getting them out to businesses. In fact, I still haven’t handed out any resumes because I keep tweaking the thing and working on perfecting cover letters for each place I intend to apply.

I did start feeling better the second week of January, which is good because filming was to begin for the college’s film student productions. I had been given a small part in one of the “movies”, which is actually “webisode” series that may or may not be posted online upon completion. I was only supposed to have one day of filming, both a good and bad thing. Great because I’d only have to get to the location once, but bad because it doesn’t give much time for making friends. Turns out that there were “technical difficulties” and we had to reshoot the entire day’s worth of filming.

So back again we all went, but this time the shooting took longer –presumedly to ensure no further problems were to be had– and we only got part of the scenes filmed. I had a cold, so not only did I sound like a frog but it was really hard for me not to cough when the cameras were rolling. I was actually glad we’d have a third day as that would allow me to get over my cold before having to do my talking scenes. Sadly, when we had to do our third day of shooting, I was actually in worse shape! I only had to do one scene that day, because there wasn’t enough time to do all my scenes, and now we’ll have a fourth day. Needless to say, I am making acquaintances if not friends.

The other thing that my being sick interfered with was the auditions for the local theatre’s end-of-season musical. They have a huge production every June and hold auditions the January prior; this year it is “Into the Woods”. Thankfully I knew the director and made arrangements to audition at the callbacks (as had a couple other people who couldn’t make the original date). It was an interesting experience considering I was the only person who didn’t know much about the production! I knew a basic plot and the characters, but that was about it. Going into the audition I was thinking I’d want to be one of the smaller roles, just a line or two and singing with the chorus, because memorizing things is difficult for me and I get such stage fright *grimace*

I found a version of the play online and watched it the day after my audition. I discovered that I did not want to be one of the cameo parts, as it’s at the very end of the play. It’s nerve-wracking enough not coming on until the second act like I was in “Earnest”, but I didn’t think could deal with waiting for two hours just to be on stage for two minutes. I did figure that those small roles would also be cast as “wood sprites” or something to help change the sets, but I realized that I didn’t want that. I’d take it if that’s what I was given, yet I’d found the role I loved: Little Red Riding Hood. So when I had just posted on fb that I finished watching the performance, the director messaged to ask if I “like sticky-buns”… meaning I was being cast as Lil Red!

Sunnie also tried out for the musical and really wanted one of two roles. The one had already been cast to the director’s wife (who is actually too old for the part and not that great a singer), and for the other Sunnie was up against one of her bff’s. During the audition she stupidly said she could no longer sing as high as she used to and therefore didn’t want to read for a certain role. Most of the parts were for sopranos, and thus Sunnie just took herself out of the running for ALL the main characters! Why she didn’t just say that was the only role she didn’t want, I don’t know.

Her friend got the role she wanted, and Sunnie turned down the part(s) she had been offered. This was quite a surprise for everyone considering how psyched she was about the show during the Ugly Sweater Party, it was all she could talk about. Sunnie then cancelled all her social media accounts and stopped answering anything but phone calls from certain people. I even tried emailing because her last message to me after I had inquired as to what part she got was very terse and said she didn’t have time for the play after all. I thought someone in her family died or had been dismembered and they were in financial crisis or something, and was quite worried.

Turns out she was just in shock or heartbroken or throwing a tantrum or something, because –according to her father– this was the last straw in a string of bad news for her (now I’m wondering if her wedding was called off!). By the time she calmed down it was too late to reconsider and take the role, so she is now in charge of hair and make-up. I had been hoping that would be the case, as it would still allow her to be a part of the production she had been so looking forward to. Yeah, it may seem like she’s getting “rewarded” for being a diva, but I know what it’s like to really want something because you need just one thing to look forward to in your life. I mean, that’s what the college filming and the play are for me…

As you all know I’ve had this on-again off-again crush on Buttercup who had become one of my closest friends a few years back. Due to the horrible economy he lost his job before Christmas and couldn’t find a new one, so he decided to do the same thing that Dawlz did: move to Alberta. Apparently there are more jobs to be had there, and he left this past Tuesday. I went to his place on Monday after work to hang out with him for a bit. It wasn’t terribly amusing as he wanted to play video games and I ended up watching tv, yet it was time together. We never did end up kissing –no matter how often we talked about it–and now the chance will likely not come again.

He was the last of my good friends living in town, and now I only have a couple friends whom I’m not terribly close too. I am hoping to stay in contact with some of the college kids and will make friends with people in the play. Some of the cast are those who were in “Earnest” and “South Pacific” with me, which is awesome, but we didn’t stay in contact too well after those productions so I don’t have too much hope this time either.

Valentine’s Day was a bit of a bust… but then, when isn’t it? I have never had a boyfriend or so much as a date on that day and, other than the year Laur and I decided to exchange gifts for all holidays, I never get so much as a box of chocolates. Scratch that. The one year I did get chocolate, but only because a guy at my school asked me to give the box to one of my non-school friends who he had a crush on and she said I could keep it because she wasn’t interested in him. I don’t really count that, and the chocolates weren’t that good either.

The lack of a job is going to interfere with my Ireland budget, but I do have freelance work on the go at least. It won’t make up for a steady income, but will create a (very) small amount of funds to pay my bills. I am still waiting on my brother’s friend getting his manuscript back to me, and I told the publishing company that I could take on assignments again. They are rejigging how the business is run and that is a trifle worrisome as it may mean I’ll be out of even that job, but for now I have an author who loves me and specifically asked to keep working with me on her next book.

It turns out that for all the company says things are great, there are a lot of complaints from authors about the lack of publicity/sales. I found out from said author who loves me that a lot of writers are waiting for the three-year contract to be up so as to regain the rights to their work. I also think the lack of publicity is an issue because some of my books had not even reached double-digits in sales, let alone three or more, as I only get paid in a percentage of the royalties for said book. This means I will no longer be getting any money once that happens… and all the books did not sell well enough to so much as pay me for my time, so forget about making a profit!

However I have also been “hired” to do technical writing for my cousin’s boyfriend’s new company. I think I was chosen merely so he wouldn’t have to go through the effort of actually looking for a professional technical writer as he asked my cousin if she knew anyone who was good at writing. I haven’t gotten any work from him yet, but he said I will be soon. The good news is that this pays better than the editing-gig, but not enough to make up for a lack of a day-job.

I’m going to have to apply for the work exchange soon, but for a part of it I will have to get to Toronto. Since I don’t have a car and I kind of suck at driving anyways, I’m going to have to find another way to get there. I could take the train and then the TTC, but that would be so frikken expensive! I’m trying to talk the parentals into taking me with the idea they could do touristy stuff or even genealogy research (which mum claims she wants to do), but I keep getting shot down.

I’m still a bit worried about going to a foreign country on my own, but by the end of the year I will be there! If I don’t get accepted into the work exchange program I’m going to do a two-month vaycay, possibly in the summer… My dream WILL come true!

<3 SUMR

Every year I throw myself a birthday party. You may wonder why I’d do such a thing, but ever since the year everyone –even my parents– forgot it was my birthday I’ve arranged for my own celebrations. It isn’t like anyone else is going to throw a party for me, as much as I’d love for someone else to plan an event.

This year I was thinking of having a dinner party, it seemed like a grown up thing to do… but there was a teeny tiny problem. Okay, there were actually a lot of big problems. Namely that I had no where to host such an event because I don’t have my own place and I really can’t cook very well. Plus, a friend of mine said that having an at-home event would not be enough to celebrate this major milestone of my life.

So the new plan was for all of us to go to a restaurant that opened in the summer none of us had been to and go to a movie afterwards. Not exactly a huge hoopla, but still something fun. The food was really good, but due to the delay in ordering (we were waiting for people who failed to arrive) and us just talking so much we missed the start time for the alternate movie we were going to see (the one we planned on wasn’t playing here after all).

I was okay with it because the Bs had told me in advance they weren’t going to the cinema, and C let me know when she arrived that her work shift was changed so she couldn’t come either. Since the Bs were going to stop for coffee on their way home to catch up (they hadn’t seen each other in a while), A and I decided to join them instead of going to the movie late.

Both C and one of the Bs gave me a prezzie. C got me a pretty bracelet and an absolutely stunning journal –which she said was for me to write about my travels in Ireland. B gave me a scarf made of wool from Scotland, a material scarf she made, and a bunch of hand-me down clothes. I LOVE getting clothes from my friend’s closets, so to me that’s a fab gift. Mbff teased about what he’d give me, and I was hoping to get it on my actual birthday…

I had a fairly fun night, and it was a good thing too. My actual birthday really, really sucked. As in it was almost as horrible as the time everyone forgot my birthday. No one forgot this year, we have FB now to remind us *rolls eyes*, but my parents may as well have. They both took the day off, but it turns out it wasn’t to spend the day with me. No, it was so they could go Christmas shopping.

For my birthday I ended up cleaning my room. Yeah, seriously, the girl who hates cleaning did it on her birthday for something to do. That done, I was just in the process of making arrangements to go to Mbff’s to watch a movie when my parents came home. Being told we would leaving soon, I postponed going to Mbff’s until after dinner, cake, and prezzies… but I could have went because it took two hours before my parents decided they were hungry.

On our way to the restaurant I was informed dad couldn’t afford both the dinner out and an ice cream cake as promised. I shouldn’t be so selfishly disappointed, considering I was getting more than people in poorer countries do, but my birthday wasn’t going well and being told my dad didn’t even bother budgeting in the only two things he actually buys for my birthday kind of hurt.

Then, to make matters worse, we did not go home after dinner to open my presents. No, I was dragged out Christmas shopping and ended up following around my parents for nearly two hours. Needless to say I was incredibly upset because I absolutely love birthdays, and mine didn’t even matter to the people who are the reason for my existence. I have told them for years that I hate that Christmas causes my birthday to be overlooked and to please not do anything Christmasy on my birthday… I now realize I’d rather celebrate Christmas on my birthday than being dragged on errands like I was tonight because then at least we would be celebrating someone’s birthday!

This unexpected shopping trip also meant my plans with the mbff were in peril as he had to work that night and only had so much time. I got really ticked off, and ended up having a fight with my mother who said if I wanted to do something special for my birthday I should have made other plans. Um, hello? Whenever I made other plans on my birthday she would freak out and say it was their day to celebrate with me! Not that they really did, but it was usually at least good for three or so hours rather than under one hour. And I had made plans… but they kept interfering with them!

After finally getting home I walked over to the mbff’s and we just hung out because he didn’t have enough time to watch a movie before work. I felt a bit like a whiney, unwanted houseguest as I had hinted all day at wanting to hang out and saying how horrible my birthday was so far, but not bad enough to not go. He always seems to calm me down and make me feel better just by my being with him, and I really needed that.

I hope he didn’t mind my visiting too much, but I really don’t get how gaming is more important than being with a friend on her birthday. It is however one of the reasons why we make better friends than a couple; if we had been dating his preference to play on the computer would have killed me rather than been an eye-roll inducing event. I was kind of hoping I’d get the birthday present he promised me, but he didn’t offer it. I suppose I could have asked for it, but I wasn’t brave enough…

When I got home I had to wait another hour for the parentals to feel like doing the cake and present thing, and by that point it was nearly no longer my birthday. Dad had picked up a freezer cake (which I admit I like better than bakery cakes, but not as much as DQ’s cakes), and so we ate that after I opened my gifts. Both my Nana and my Grandma had stopped by earlier to drop off birthday cards with money in them (enough to buy two to three books combined), and my parents got me a movie I wanted plus a new watch (I lost my old one a year ago). After that we watched a VHS my parents had bought, and thankfully it was something I didn’t mind seeing as it had been years since I last watched it.

My birthday with the family always seems to be a let down, and I just thought this one would be different. Not only was it an important birthday, but my last one with my parents. By this time next year I’ll be in a far away country, and when I do come back it may not even be to the same province. Maybe I just expected too much, and that’s why it hurt when I didn’t get the birthday I hoped for. I’m an adult now, and no one thinks birthdays are important after you reach double-digits…

No one except me, I guess.

❤ Sumr

This was originally posted on my other blog on July 31st, but I realized I’d have to keep it private for fear someone at work might see it… but since I can still post on here, I’m doing it! There will also be some additions from today’s aggro 

Go to this link and play this song. Pay a special, close attention to the lyrics of the first thirty seconds… this is what I was singing in my head all day, so that should give you a good idea as to how my day was going.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snPgFNMCXBs

Now for the breakdown:

As my schedule of twelve hours a week doesn’t have me start until 1pm, I told “SC” not to come in until after that time so I could be there to help. So what do I see as I am walking down the street towards work? SC’s truck. SC was fifteen minutes early, so I ran the rest of the way to the studio because, knowing SC, help is expected even from other people who don’t know what they’re doing.

Then once SC was dealt with and I finished the opening duties (turning on lights, unlocking doors, prepping the till, etc), I moved on to checking phone and email messages. And guess what I found… A message from my boss saying a client lodged a complaint against me for not finishing his project. Excuse me? This would be the client whom I’ve told FOUR times that I was missing information and couldn’t get any further without it? I don’t think so! I sent a very polite “reminder” email of exactly the information I needed and BCC’d my boss in on it.

I also had an email from my boss saying what had to get done today and what was due on Monday (as I don’t work Thurs through Sat). Some of these things are projects she said not to worry about because there was plenty of time to do them, so I was not to stress about having too much to do and not enough hours. One said project will take me approximately three days to do, and I’m supposed to get it done in four hours on Monday… along with two other assignments.

There are approximately twelve to fifteen things on my to-do list, most of which are research and/or writing assignments. I don’t think my boss fully comprehends how much time and effort such things take, especially when I have to also deal with other “emergency” assignments I get (as in when I’m told “I need this done immediately”) along the way.

It certainly doesn’t help that my previous boss, the studio owner –remember, he sold the company I now work for but they are still in the same building– doesn’t seem to recall that I NO LONGER WORK FOR HIM and keeps giving me things to do. Some of them are relevant to my role as a receptionist, but others just don’t fit in my job description. At all. Such as hauling things out of the storage room to be loaded into a truck thus getting my lovely dress covered with dust and setting off my allergies for the remainder of the day. Or cleaning broken glass outside while wearing sandals and getting glass shards embedded into my foot. And then there is creating a financial projection for a company when I have absolutely no business or accounting education whatsoever.

I thought I lucked out today, because the owner didn’t come in at all during my shift. For nearly the first time ever I was actually the last person in the building, as everyone else left before 5pm. I had finished my closing duties and slipped into the loo before starting my walk home when I heard a door slam. Needless to say I was a little freaked out, particularly when I saw someone sitting at my desk. It seems the owner thought I didn’t close up properly leaving the lights and computer on in the main room. Um, my bag wasn’t a big clue I was still there?

So as always happens, he had to tell me about everything going on in his life with his indecisive manner and thus keeping me another ten to fifteen minutes after my finish time. On my way home I texted any relevant information I thought the gallery administrator should know (we tend to give each other FYIs  due to the owner giving incomplete information, and we can usually cobble together what he wants based on what he tells us two plus the project manager) only to find out he’s telling us completely opposite information! Now both the GA and I are doing some serious *facedesk*ing; she’s contemplating giving her notice as she has another job that wants her to go full time, whereas I don’t even work for him and have to deal with his stressing me out!

On a plus note, I’m still exercising five or six times a week and eating fairly healthy, the weather was really nice –if a little warm for running– and a cute guy came into the gallery today. I hadn’t seen him in a while as he used to come earlier in the day and I’m no longer working then. I managed to get him word that my schedule changed and he came by this afternoon instead

Oh, and chocolate is about to get eaten *yum*

UPDATE: I had to deal with old boss, new boss, and the project manager all giving me things to do. Even when I reminded my boss that I was already given a priority project to complete today –two actually– I still have more work piled on. So I did the things the three of them asked of me, then moved onto my first priority project. Remember that content writing thing I mentioned above that should take three days? Well some how or another I managed to get a first draft done in just under three hours. The project manager’s assignment didn’t get done, but that was do to a temperamental computer and I had already given it enough time struggling with it.

Then at the end of the day I handed old boss his project, but he decided to sit down and tell me about how he spent his weekend thus causing him to be so tired and blah blah blah. Oh, and he was on my computer while doing it so I couldn’t sign out or close the thing down. Finally I told him I was attending a play tonight and I was short on time so did he mind if I left now? I’m not even working for the guy, but what else could I do? He sighed and said he could finish closing up so I could leave. Um, excuse me? I would have been gone by now if it weren’t for him and all he needed to do was shut off said computer he was using and turn off the lights in the room when he was done. What is so sigh-worthy about that? 

On my way home I started texting my friends to remind them again of the play tonight only to have every single one of them bail on me! I understood why GA did as her friend was coming from the west coast a day early (said visit being the reason why I’m taking her thursday shift as well), but the others have far less reason. One is visiting his girlfriend –um, bring her!– and two others didn’t think they could make it after all because one claimed to have “too much on my plate” and the other “overbooked”. I really hate it when people cancel plans last minute for ridiculous excuses. I mean, it’s one thing if you’ve come down with the flu or got a surprise visit from a relative, but just not feeling like it anymore is plain ol’ rude. I don’t even feel well, but I’m still going!

SUMR

Once I learned our beloved blog was changing, I knew I’d no longer be able to remain a part of the xanga family. I still hoped for the rest of you that the monetary goal would be reached for the transfer to the new format, and as I do believe in miracles it may happen yet! Nevertheless, I have moved on to a new blogging site and you can find me at http://jaikaies.wordpress.com/

I am glad the xanga team allowed us to archive our blogs. It is a great record of all the things that have happened in my life, however mundane and boring it may have been. All of you have been with me through a lot, and I don’t know what I would have done without everyone’s advice, thoughts, and love. You were with me as I was starting university, having boyfriend issues (or the lack thereof), moving back in with my parents, finding numerous jobs, paying off my school loan, participating in local theatre, going back to college for my postgrad, trying for a publishing internship, living on my own, and making plans for my dream trip… You took the time to be a part of my life and I appreciate it more than you can ever know. 

Maybe some day I’ll look back through my posts and use it to create a novel. They say you should write what you know, and I know nothing better than my own life, right? Every one should be the lead character in their own life and not just the sidekick, and what better way to remind myself that than to write about it! *L0L* If you have any suggestions for plotlines or scenes you think should be included, be sure to let me know 

Even though Xanga is changing, and maybe ending, I wish to stay in touch with everyone because without you life just won’t be the same. If you decide against going to wordpress or even a new blog at all, y’all can always email me at jaimekristal@yahoo.ca (be sure to include your xanga name in the subject line) or look for me on facebook under JaiKaies. 

SUMR

This may or may not be my last post on our beloved xanga *sniffle* so I thought I should tie up a few ends regarding the latest in my life that I had been sharing with y’all. I am not sure that I like wordpress for daily-life blogging, even though I had been using it for a couple years with my book blog, but I suppose it will become normal in time. I still have my fingers crossed for Xanga 2.0 though even though I cannot currently afford to pay for it myself. Anyways, on to the wrap up! 

As y’all know, my dad has been redoing the floors in the rooms of our house. He still hasn’t finished, planning to do the closets today, but I do have most things back in room. I finally decided on an arrangement of my furniture and I am quite pleased with it. Previously, you would walk in my door and have my tv stand in front of my couch; across from it you would see a cd stand, a night table, and my bed with my dresser alongside it; and creating a corner with my dresser is my desk with a storage bin and light nestled between it and my bookshelf which is facing the door.

I’ve had that layout for a couple years now, longer really as I believe that is how my room may have been when I moved back. My new arrangement now has my dresser, desk, storage bin, and light where my tv stand and couch used to be. My bed was is now the location for my couch, tv stand, and night table. The previous “office” spot is now my bed area with my bookshelf remaining in the same place as before to create a divider between my bed and the door. 

I am hoping this change will help my general feeling of antsy-ness. I cannot seem to get rid of the feeling that I need to go somewhere or to do something, to where or doing what I’m not entirely sure. Maybe it’s God pushing me to just pack up and leave for Ireland already, to not worry about money because I have enough and He needs me there asap…but dang mum and her cautiousness rubbing off on me because I don’t feel ready to leave yet and thus keeping my planned departure date for next summer. It’s not just the money, but needing to deal with all the governmental red tape of doing a working holiday, getting my drivers license because I still haven’t gone for my G yet, and just emotionally ready to leave everything behind *sigh*

Last week I mentioned how my grandmother passed out in our kitchen while visiting (FYI, the pic is of her napping after Thanksgiving dinner, not of her fainting episode). She had been randomly passing out for a while, possibly the past year or so, and had just had a heart monitor put in a couple days prior this episode. Apparently my mum managed to use it right as my grandmother was called in for an appointment on Friday. My aunt (who drove my grands up to KGH) called us that morning to say that the doctors have grandma needs a pace maker put in and they were trying to get her in that day to do it. I don’t know if it was my aunt trying so they wouldn’t have to make the drive again, the doctors because my grandmother needed one immediately, or some combination of the two.

I almost wish I hadn’t told my mum about the phone message, because it meant she was frantic for the rest of the day. She just couldn’t settle down or do anything for longer than twenty minutes. I know this because the only thing she did manage to last twenty minutes doing was trying out level three of Jillian Michaels’ “Shred” workout video. This meant I couldn’t get anything done either as mum would pop into my room to pester me frequently and, in most cases, say pretty much the same thing she did the time before. Why haven’t they called with an update? Should I go to Kingston? (Keep in mind, because dad was working late and mum doesn’t like to drive distances, I’d be the one taking her). How is a pacemaker put in? What if she dies during surgery? etc.

Thankfully we got another phone call five hours later saying my grandparents were back home and the procedure to put in a pacemaker had gone off without a hitch. This meant mum had to call and/or email all the family that she had called or emailed previously with the news. Considering there are six sisters and six grandkids (including myself) who had to be contacted, this generally takes a while to complete. I ended up having to field some return phone calls while mum went to pick up dad from work, even though I was probably the last person to hear the news having received it when mum was running out the door. Nevertheless, I’m glad they’ve figured out what was wrong with my grandmother and she’s doing fine.

On Tuesday morning, before I had to work, Buttercup and I got together again as it was his day off. It was already pretty warm out and I guess he was feeling lazy, because we didn’t go for a walk as per usual. Instead we took a drive out in the county after picking up some Timmies, which was pretty nice. We did have to make a short stop so he could smoke as I wouldn’t let him do it in the car *snicker* He also took a phone call which I think may have been his girlfriend and so I wandered off so I wouldn’t eavesdrop on their conversation.

Sometimes when he and I are together I cannot think of anything to say, but this time we were talking nonstop and he even had to drive me to work after stopping at my house to pick up my things just so I wouldn’t be late. He’s a bit concerned about my trip to Ireland, not that he thinks I shouldn’t go, but that I’m not fully understanding everything I need to do or know…and he’s right.

He’s been telling me what I need to know about the airport and going through customs, things like that. He offered to drive me to the airport if he’s still around, thinking it would be better for someone who knows what they’re doing to guide me through the crazy process. He thought I should book a later flight and then we’d drive up to Toronto in the morning, hang out about town relaxing, then get me on a plane. He can be such a sweetie sometimes, and other times he can be a real eejit.

For some reason, in nearly every hangout we have, the fact that I’m “waiting for marriage” is brought up. Buttercup is under the impression I’ll have trouble finding a guy willing to get in a relationship with me because he’d have to wait until we’re married before getting into my pants. He thinks most guys cannot manage going without sex unless they are “religious fanatics”. The fact that he doesn’t consider me a religious fanatic when I’m holding out seems a bit ironic, but perhaps there is some gender bias going on in his brain.

I am of the firm opinion that if a guy loves me enough, he’d be willing to wait until I’m ready (aka after the wedding), and if he can’t then he really isn’t the right guy for me. Buttercup gave the example of mediaeval knights, and said if a guy wasn’t sleeping with his girl it was because he was getting it from somewhere else. That you are either intimate with your s/o or have to accept him screwing around with other girls as part of the “package” until you will sleep with him. Buttercup is under the impression I’m going to either lose my v-card in Ireland or rush into a marriage with someone in Ireland because I’ll only have up to two years in the country… He may think he is giving me practical “advice” but I really want to smack him for being so cynical and stupid.  

I kind of got the impression that he’s trying to convince me to give it up, and I’m not entirely sure why. When I told a friend of mine about our conversation, she thinks he’s trying to convince me to sleep with him specifically. I thought that was bogus as he has a girlfriend after all, but she referred to an earlier part of the conversation and he and I had. I think we had been talking about the job he will be applying to will cause him to be stationed anywhere in the world and I asked about what his gf thinks about it, to which he shrugged and said it didn’t matter. On one hand I’m all for doing what’s right for your own life and not allowing your s/o control you, but it seemed kind of a major brushoff and thus potentially hurtful for his gf. 

He told me that she has some good traits but she’s not the brightest, and so he doesn’t expect their relationship to last long term. Ouch. I asked him why he was still dating the girl when he knows the relationship isn’t going anywhere, and that I always broke up with my bf whenever I realized the same thing because I thought it was mean to string someone along when they could be out finding the person they are meant to be with. He didn’t reply to that and went on to the topic of me and how I was a “great girl” if it wasn’t for the fact I wouldn’t allow intimacy in a relationship. I think relationships can be intimate without sex, and that’s when our debate began.

When our mutual friend B came to visit me yesterday, she asked me about Buttercup as she hadn’t seen him since before his internship. Apparently she forgot that he announced having a girlfriend on fb a few months ago (she may have baby-brain *L0L*) and asked what I knew about her when I mentioned it. All I knew is what he had told me, so I shared that with her. B was also of the opinion that if you’re not intellectually stimulated by your s/o then you shouldn’t be dating that person. I probably should have kept my mouth shut but sometimes what pops into my brain comes out my mouth, so I said that maybe he could deal with her not being terribly smart because he had me to challenge him that way. B replied that was probably right because “doesn’t he want you anyways?”

Considering he never outright stated such a thing in my presence I merely mentioned that he’d never said as much to me, and segued the towards how friends are supposed to dish about the latest s/o in their life and that some people really need to learn that’s what besties are for, etc. I almost wonder if that little tidbit –his wanting me– was discussed between Buttercup and B when she mentioned that I used to have a crush on him or if she was just under that impression due to the things I’ve told her over the years. To be honest, I have always wondered how that topic had come up between them while I was away at school, but never bothered to ask since it was a couple years ago now. 

I’ve known Buttercup for about six or so years now, and have had off and on crushes for him since. It is kind of amazing that we have been friends for so long considering how differently we think, but I almost think we balance each other out. He is a bit of a bad-boy to my good-girl, and while I do learn to look at things a bit differently due to his influence, I also think that I bring out his softer-side. He keeps trying to tell me that he’s often rude, a jerk, sometimes mean, and I keep telling him that he doesn’t act that way with me. Yes, he says the most aggravating things sometimes, almost like he’s trying to start an argument, but we usually have this grand debate that makes us think about the other’s perspective even if we never reach a compromise. 

I’ve been told before that I’m a good influence on people, that the longer they are around me the better they act. I’ve been confused on more than one occasion when someone mentioned how so-and-so swears like a trucker when I’d rarely heard them swear at all, and other similar stories. B told me that I have this “vibe” or something that seems to flick a switch in people’s heads to make them nice to me without even realizing it, so perhaps it’s like that for Buttercup to. He said once that even if I think he’s a sweetheart, that he doesn’t know what he’s thinking. I only replied with, “you’re right, I don’t” and moved on.

Sometimes I think the reason why we’re still in each other’s lives is that we could be the right people at the wrong time. Y’know how you meet someone who could be the love of your life, but neither of you have become the person you’re meant to be or could have been had something happened differently and so you’re not the right for one another after all? I’m not saying I think he and I will get together in the future, just that perhaps it is why neither of us has given up on our friendship for all our differences. You may say this thought is in juxtaposition to when I was sixteen and had that feeling of “knowing” I’ll meet the love of my life in Ireland, but it really isn’t. What if Buttercup had been adopted by an Irish couple instead of the parents he now has? What if his job will station him in Ireland while I’m there? What if, what if, what if? 

I don’t know what God has in store for me, but I’ve given my life over to Him long ago and will continue to follow Him all the days of my life. I like the thought that while I have no idea what will happen, He does and is guiding me towards a bright future. I know that where He sends me is for the best, that whatever I have to live through is for a reason, and good things are coming my way if I just have the patience to wait for it. 

SUMR

So Dad still hasn’t finished in my room, and that made getting ready for work today a real pain. All my stuff is scattered all over the house, wherever there was room, and it made this morning a scavenger hunt for clothing, my purse, my work bag, my shoes, and all that necessary stuff. The fact that my clothes were not in the same room as my bed messed with my mind a little, and I nearly walked out of my bedroom in my undies like I would have at my old apartment. My mum would have had a conniption fit, even though my dad wasn’t home. If it weren’t for the fact I cannot afford rent I’d move out, because I really miss living on my own. 

It makes me wonder what I’ll do in Ireland. I want to have housemates, because I’ve only ever lived with “parents”. Not necessarily my parents, but somebody’s parents (a mother and daughter, a young family, an older couple), and I’d really like to share a house with some fun people my age. Preferably females who like to clean, because when I used to hang out at the “guys’ house” in university the place was icky. I would actually walk to my grandparents’ home a couple blocks away to use the washroom, because I was worried about the sanitary levels at the house. The thing is, though, that I loved being by myself in Toronto so much better than the three places where I rented a room in someone else’s home. I’m a little worried that I won’t like having roomies, but it seems like the best idea for both my budget and being social. 

Before work and before my frantic search for work-necessary items, I did my sixteenth day of “Shred”. Not the same shred as Riis, but Jillian Michaels’ DVD. I started Level Two last week but doing the lower intensity version of the moves with the intent of bumping it to the jumping version this week. Let’s just say I’ll have to work up to that even more gradually because I pertnear gave myself an asthma attack and my limbs were ready to fall off! I was slightly aggravated when my mum said that she didn’t get to do her workout regime correctly last week due to my doing the “Shred” before I went to work. I couldn’t comprehend that considering that (a) she said she prefers to exercise in the afternoon and (b) she doesn’t work in the summers and therefore has all freaking day to do her own exercises. She doesn’t have to do the same workout I do nor workout at 9 or 10am as I have been! *oy*

I had to force myself to work today. I don’t know what it was, the grey skies maybe?, that made me feel entirely lackluster. The only highlight of my day was fining out that Prince Wills and Princess Kate were at the hospital, and their baby’s arrival was imminent. However, by the time I found out that she was in labour Kate had already given birth, though I don’t think it was announced until a couple hours later. I was kind of hoping the baby would be a girl, just because the laws of succession had changed. It would have been fabulous to be alive when the first female monarch was born… At least I think a girl would have been the first female of the British Monarchy be known she’d be the queen from birth. It isn’t something we get taught at school, so all I know comes from blockbuster films about the Royals 

Shortly after I returned home from work my grandparents stopped by. I was in my mum’s office (aka where her computer and her exercise equipment are) where my laptop has taken temporary residence when I heard a thud and my mum panicking. It turns out that my grandmother had just suddenly keeled over! She had been fainting a fair bit over the last few months and went to the KGH on Friday to have a heart monitor put in. If she passes out, whomever is with her is to press a button on the remote control and put it on her chest where something or other was put in during the surgery. Then my grandpa has to call somebody and be told whether he has to take her to see a doctor or not.  

It seems my mum forgot what to do and once told she wasn’t sure where the button was. For some reason neither my grandfather nor dad moved when grandma hit the deck, rather than rush over to help. I didn’t think I should go to the kitchen, figuring there were enough people in the room and they supposedly knew what to do… If I had, I probably would have gotten there from halfway across the house before the men did *shakes head* They went home shortly after, and mum just called to check in on them as we weren’t sure if grandma hit her head on the cupboard when she went down. It seems she’s okay at this time. 

After that I started supper. Dad is barbecuing chicken and mum is reading outside, while I make carrots (ew) and colcannon (mashed potatoes with kale). My sister-in-law says it’s a dutch dish called boutacol (spelling?) or some such, but when I google looking for the name I could only find the Irish name for it! *L0L* Admittedly, this dish could be made with either kale or cabbage, but whatever. 

SUMR