Some of you may have seen my previous post about “My Perfect Day” from earlier this week. It wasn’t a real day, not yet, but it is a day I hope will come at some point in the future. I was thinking about what I would consider an ideal twenty-four hours due to a book I had just finished reading called “Love is a Thief” by Claire Garber. I plan to do a review about the book itself on my book blog at some point soon, so I won’t get into that here.

The basic premise of the book is the main character, Kate, has just gotten out of a relationship and had to ask herself: What do I like doing? What did I not get to do because I was in a relationship? What would I be happy doing for the rest of my life? And so began her quest to discover what her “love-stolen dreams” are and set about accomplishing them.

One of the characters in the novel is a life coach Kate goes to see, and he walks her through a visualization exercise. And before you start saying not to believe everything I come across in a fictional works, I do know that many coaches suggest visualization to help you reach your goals. I had recently come across the practice in my quest for fitness, and didn’t think to apply it to the larger picture that is my entire life.

The life coach has Kate imagine her perfect day, saying it would help her figure out what she wants out of life. Too many people focus on what they don’t want, so the universe –and your brain– hears are the same words repeated over and over again… and it isn’t hearing the “don’t” part of the equation. That is why so many people get exactly what they don’t want, rather than what they do.

This exercise will help focus on what you truly desire and whenever you feel discouraged,  you can think back to this dream day and remind yourself why you’re doing what you are: It is taking life one step at a time to reach your goal.  And it isn’t just the material or physical aspects of the dream you should take note of, but the feelings of emotion you have as well. Joy, excitement, contentment, love, friendship… It’s all there. Every morning you should take a few minutes to go back to your perfect day, so you become used to feeling that way. You deserve to be happy, and shouldn’t feel guilty about a lack of stress or worry or sadness or anger or frustration.

So that’s what I did. I took some time, did my yoga deep-breathing to clear and calm my mind, and then spent a few minutes imagining what my perfect day would be like. I saw myself having a wonderful husband with a child on the way, I was a published author and an editor, I was living in the UK, had some really cute vehicles, was still in touch with my best friends… It really is simply perfect. It is everything I want in life: a loving family, wonderful friends, a job I enjoy, and living in a place that feels like home.

We spend far too much time in the present reality and don’t take enough time to just…be. Be ourselves, be truthful about our hopes and desires, be happy. If we focus on what our current and possibly unsatisfactory life is, then we’ll get bogged down and start to lose hope. And that is so important, because without the hope of what may come, faith we can achieve our dreams, and a love of self, what is life really worth existing for? I can achieve my dreams. I will have my perfect day. And I know I deserve to have everything my heart truly desires.

What is your dream day like and do you believe you deserve to have it?

SUMR

I slowly wake up to a kiss and give a sleepy smile, before rolling over to snuggle further into my pillow. There is a tugging of my comforter and I pout, even as I hear “Oh, no you don’t” with a deep, glorious laugh.  

I’m pulled out of bed and up against the hardness of his body for another kiss before he nudges me towards the bathroom with a pat on my bottom. I swat at his hand, but go into the bathroom to shuck my pajamas and shower. I know that while I am in there he will have let the dogs out into the back garden.

As I exit the bathroom wearing my comfy robe , I head for the kitchen to see he’s already eaten. I’m still a bit sleep befuddled, and realize he must have an early meeting today. He looks up to smile at me before folding up his newspaper —he likes print more than digital so we have one delivered every morning. By the paper I see an envelope with familiar writing on it, which he picks up and he heads over to where I’m standing.

He shows me the envelope and I reach for it, but he holds it up in the air. Laughing, I try to grab it but can’t. Finally, when the gaping robe showing off my cleavage distracts him, I grab the letter.  He slips his hand into my robe from my stomach to my bare back, and gives me another kiss before heading off to work.

I pour myself some cereal and take a quick glance through the paper to check out the latest news, then rip open the letter I’d just gotten from Caroline. I eat breakfast while reading, and absentmindedly pet the chocolate lab lying under the kitchen table with my foot. I love getting letters from my bestie!

I put my dish in the sink, and with Marmallow following behind me I go to the living room to crank the stereo. I pick up our other puppy, a maltese cross named Bellissima, and rock out down the hall. Putting Bella down I open the doors to my closet, large enough to be a walk-in but isn’t quite, and ask them, “What shall I wear today?” I finally decide on a pretty sundress, which I lay out on the bed, and change from my robe into a tank top with flannel pants and fuzzy socks.

Still trailed by Mars and Bella, I go to my home office and start up my laptop. The dogs keep me company as I spend the morning writing my latest novel until an alarm goes off. My man must have set it for me knowing that if it wasn’t I’d lose complete track of time, and today I couldn’t be late. I get dressed, do my hair and make-up, then blow a kiss to the puppies as I walk out the door.

I give my vespa a pat as I walk by (even though it’s rather impractical I had always wanted one) and contemplate driving my new VW bug, but I decide to walk instead because I hate parking downtown. It’s only a fifteen minute trek to the café and it’s a lovely day out for a stroll. I go down the walkway and cross over a footbridge, pausing a moment to enjoy the scenery and give a wave to some neghbourhood children playing nearby.

I arrive at the café to see Holly has already arrived and gotten a table for us. She’s visiting from some nearby European country, probably Spain or France but who knows with her, and made time to have lunch with me. We have an enjoyable meal, and we make plans to have another get-together the next month before she has to leave for her meeting. I check my watch and realized that I need to get going as well.

I stroll through town, pausing to look in the window of an independently owned bookshop. It’s one of my favourites and I wave back at the owner who is arranging the display. He wiggles a book at me and I grin, as it’s one I had worked on (either written or edited). I continue on my way and go into an adorable office building, very quaint rather than the more modern glass-and-steel.

I pause here and there to chat with this person or that, and then settle at my own desk to go through my slush pile hoping to find a diamond among the unsolicited manuscripts. I work until someone asks me if I want to go to a nearby pub with them, and I realize the workday is over. I decline and head home instead.

I buy a bouquet of wild flowers on my way back, and try to keep them from being mangled in the puppies’ excitement of their owner being back. I let the dogs out into the back garden, and put the flowers in a vase. While I’m arranging them I hear the door open and close, smiling at the knowledge that he’s home from work, too. His arms come around me and I cuddle back into his strong embrace.

I turn for a kiss, then slip from his grasp to take the flowers into the dining room to put on the table there. He has started pulling out the ingredients for dinner, and we cook together. Once he even takes me in his arms to dance around the kitchen and I all but knock us down from laughing so hard.

We take our dinner into the dinning room, and as we eat we discuss our days, our future family, when we’ll next visit our respective parents. We call the dogs in, them having run off any excess energy, and give them their dinner. While they eat we do the dishes, him up to his elbows in suds and me drying because he knows I hate to wash.

He and I go to the living room and the puppies follow. Bellissima curls up on her dog pillow, but Marmallow flops down on the rug at our feet. Picking up our latest book he reads aloud to me, and I curl up into his side with his arm around me. I love the lyricism of his lilt and slowly drift to sleep to the flow of his words and the rhythm of his heart beating in my ear. I tend to tire out a lot easier than I used to now that I’m a couple months pregnant. I’m grateful, as I prefer sleepiness to morning sickness.

I wake up just a little when I realize he is lifting me into his arms, and I wrap my own around him and nuzzle the crook of his neck as he carries me to bed. He lays me down, helps me into my pajamas, and then gets ready for bed himself. He crawls in next to me and wraps his arms around me. “I love you” is the last thing I hear from my husband before drifting back into a sound sleep. 

SUMR

Originally posted on July 3rd on the other blog as well, but for the same reason of wanting to keep certain eyes off of it I am moving it over here… Once again, I’ll be adding more recent face-desk inducing recent events to it.

 

I love my jobs, I really do, but there are some things that simply drive me up the wall. As y’all know at my day job it is my bosses incomprehension, indecisiveness, and general mayhem that tweaks me. But I wasn’t working there yesterday, today, or until Tuesday actually (I had no idea Monday was a holiday until someone mentioned it was a long weekend *facepalm*). 

A month or two ago my brother, yes my brother, recommend a friend of his to use my editing services. This is probably because my brother hates to appear unknowledgeable and, when asked if he knew anything about publishing, Boo replied that his sister was in the business. This surprised said friend considering he had no idea my bro had any siblings. 

I was pretty excited by this fact for a few reasons. First,  Boo actually admitted to having a family other than his wife’s relations. For some inexplicable reason he doesn’t want to admit he has such a fantabulous sister (though I kinda get wanting to disown the parental units at times), when he should be proudly crowing my existence. Second, it is a new writer to work with, and I love shaping budding authors and polishing their works into greatness. I don’t do many freelance jobs, and this guy mentioned he’d be willing to work with me on all his future projects as well. Bonus! Third, the money. I need more of it, plain and simple. 

Unfortunately, even the promise of twice what I’m charging is hardly worth the time and effort this manuscript is going to take. I’ve already had to send it back for the author to add paragraphs–that’s kind of writing 101, don’t you think? He also has no concept of punctuation, with the only thing he (sort of) uses correctly being periods. There aren’t any commas, yet there are semicolons thrown in at the oddest moments. Nevertheless, I could probably handle all that if it weren’t for the fact he doesn’t write in complete sentences, and when he does they are really simple sentences. This guy has dreams of becoming a full-time author, but has the writing skills of a grade school kid. It’s a problem.

I can only hope that with this manuscript he learns a lot from me about writing and the editing process. He claims to have edited his manuscript already, but there is now way it has been given the state it’s in. I recall that my first freelance job with an old classmate of mine was another manuscript in pretty bad shape when I got it, but two years and two more books later I noticed how much her skill had improved. I hope this guy will absorb everything I’m telling him and applies it to any future…well, basically, every single thing he ever writes ever again. 

The editing I do for the publishing company is a lot different. The writers have a much better grasp on the written language, even the ones who aren’t already published authors. I don’t have to deal with “See-Jack-Run” type sentences or deciphering anything with a more “complex” sentence structure. With the novels I receive from them in need of my developmental skills, I can usually do five to ten pages per hour. On this manuscript it is taking me at least an hour for every one to two pages, because I have to figure out what this guy is trying to say and correct it, though I am not always successful in decoding it. 

I really am going to have to create a schedule of when I will work on this ms, edit for the other company, work on my book review blog, set up tweets on my “professional” account, and when I have time for fun on other social media platforms such as this one. It is the only way I’m going to get my life organized and, quite honestly, get the editing on this book done. I wasted all of yesterday and most of today doing nothing but avoiding working on the book, when I should be doing a couple hours a day. So, just as soon as I get to a round page number, (ie. ten, twenty, thirty) I will commence to work out a timeline for a more organized existence. 

Wow, all this whining probably sounds really bad, and if any of you ever write a book you probably won’t want me working on it when you know I procrastinate like the dickens and complain about people with poor communication skills. Then again, there is a pretty good chance you’ve got a firm grasp on grammar because I wouldn’t be reading your posts if you didn’t, and thus the likelihood of my desire to lament the death of our language in regards to your writing is minimal. So please, do hire me! *L0L*

UPDATE: I have created said schedule for my time, but I forgot to add social media to it *note to self* And I have approximately ten hours in which to work on this person’s manuscript per week thus managing approximately eighty pages per month… and it is 350 pages long. I just got the manuscript back from him regarding that paragraph resend and a mere two weeks later he’s asking me how much longer it will take to finish editing. Um, excuse me? I already told him before I even started it will be a minimum of three months to complete the process! It’s like he’s as bad as my other bosses: absolutely no comprehension whatsoever how much effort goes into this kind of work. It’s positively mind-boggling to me. Anyone in the publishing industry or even a vague interest in it should have some approximate idea of how hard it is to edit someone’s work. I just want to start smacking people. ARG! Okay, yeah, I could be a little stressed right now on top of being exhausted and feeling mildly ill, so that could be why my frustration level is through the roof. My pardon for feeling violent at the moment. 

MORE UP TO DATE: Yeah, that manuscript was pretty much the straw that broke the camel’s back as I was feeling overwhelmed by everything going on in my life plus not being illish. I’m feeling a bit better and I’ve calmed down some, so I’m not quite as aggravated by the manuscript but more hopeful that his skill improves the further I get into it and that his writing skill will improve after I send back the first edits. I mean, at least he took the time to write a novel and had the courage to want it published, right? I just have to keep that in mind when I feel like giving up on it. 

 

This was originally posted on my other blog on July 31st, but I realized I’d have to keep it private for fear someone at work might see it… but since I can still post on here, I’m doing it! There will also be some additions from today’s aggro 

Go to this link and play this song. Pay a special, close attention to the lyrics of the first thirty seconds… this is what I was singing in my head all day, so that should give you a good idea as to how my day was going.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snPgFNMCXBs

Now for the breakdown:

As my schedule of twelve hours a week doesn’t have me start until 1pm, I told “SC” not to come in until after that time so I could be there to help. So what do I see as I am walking down the street towards work? SC’s truck. SC was fifteen minutes early, so I ran the rest of the way to the studio because, knowing SC, help is expected even from other people who don’t know what they’re doing.

Then once SC was dealt with and I finished the opening duties (turning on lights, unlocking doors, prepping the till, etc), I moved on to checking phone and email messages. And guess what I found… A message from my boss saying a client lodged a complaint against me for not finishing his project. Excuse me? This would be the client whom I’ve told FOUR times that I was missing information and couldn’t get any further without it? I don’t think so! I sent a very polite “reminder” email of exactly the information I needed and BCC’d my boss in on it.

I also had an email from my boss saying what had to get done today and what was due on Monday (as I don’t work Thurs through Sat). Some of these things are projects she said not to worry about because there was plenty of time to do them, so I was not to stress about having too much to do and not enough hours. One said project will take me approximately three days to do, and I’m supposed to get it done in four hours on Monday… along with two other assignments.

There are approximately twelve to fifteen things on my to-do list, most of which are research and/or writing assignments. I don’t think my boss fully comprehends how much time and effort such things take, especially when I have to also deal with other “emergency” assignments I get (as in when I’m told “I need this done immediately”) along the way.

It certainly doesn’t help that my previous boss, the studio owner –remember, he sold the company I now work for but they are still in the same building– doesn’t seem to recall that I NO LONGER WORK FOR HIM and keeps giving me things to do. Some of them are relevant to my role as a receptionist, but others just don’t fit in my job description. At all. Such as hauling things out of the storage room to be loaded into a truck thus getting my lovely dress covered with dust and setting off my allergies for the remainder of the day. Or cleaning broken glass outside while wearing sandals and getting glass shards embedded into my foot. And then there is creating a financial projection for a company when I have absolutely no business or accounting education whatsoever.

I thought I lucked out today, because the owner didn’t come in at all during my shift. For nearly the first time ever I was actually the last person in the building, as everyone else left before 5pm. I had finished my closing duties and slipped into the loo before starting my walk home when I heard a door slam. Needless to say I was a little freaked out, particularly when I saw someone sitting at my desk. It seems the owner thought I didn’t close up properly leaving the lights and computer on in the main room. Um, my bag wasn’t a big clue I was still there?

So as always happens, he had to tell me about everything going on in his life with his indecisive manner and thus keeping me another ten to fifteen minutes after my finish time. On my way home I texted any relevant information I thought the gallery administrator should know (we tend to give each other FYIs  due to the owner giving incomplete information, and we can usually cobble together what he wants based on what he tells us two plus the project manager) only to find out he’s telling us completely opposite information! Now both the GA and I are doing some serious *facedesk*ing; she’s contemplating giving her notice as she has another job that wants her to go full time, whereas I don’t even work for him and have to deal with his stressing me out!

On a plus note, I’m still exercising five or six times a week and eating fairly healthy, the weather was really nice –if a little warm for running– and a cute guy came into the gallery today. I hadn’t seen him in a while as he used to come earlier in the day and I’m no longer working then. I managed to get him word that my schedule changed and he came by this afternoon instead

Oh, and chocolate is about to get eaten *yum*

UPDATE: I had to deal with old boss, new boss, and the project manager all giving me things to do. Even when I reminded my boss that I was already given a priority project to complete today –two actually– I still have more work piled on. So I did the things the three of them asked of me, then moved onto my first priority project. Remember that content writing thing I mentioned above that should take three days? Well some how or another I managed to get a first draft done in just under three hours. The project manager’s assignment didn’t get done, but that was do to a temperamental computer and I had already given it enough time struggling with it.

Then at the end of the day I handed old boss his project, but he decided to sit down and tell me about how he spent his weekend thus causing him to be so tired and blah blah blah. Oh, and he was on my computer while doing it so I couldn’t sign out or close the thing down. Finally I told him I was attending a play tonight and I was short on time so did he mind if I left now? I’m not even working for the guy, but what else could I do? He sighed and said he could finish closing up so I could leave. Um, excuse me? I would have been gone by now if it weren’t for him and all he needed to do was shut off said computer he was using and turn off the lights in the room when he was done. What is so sigh-worthy about that? 

On my way home I started texting my friends to remind them again of the play tonight only to have every single one of them bail on me! I understood why GA did as her friend was coming from the west coast a day early (said visit being the reason why I’m taking her thursday shift as well), but the others have far less reason. One is visiting his girlfriend –um, bring her!– and two others didn’t think they could make it after all because one claimed to have “too much on my plate” and the other “overbooked”. I really hate it when people cancel plans last minute for ridiculous excuses. I mean, it’s one thing if you’ve come down with the flu or got a surprise visit from a relative, but just not feeling like it anymore is plain ol’ rude. I don’t even feel well, but I’m still going!

SUMR

I filled this survey stolen from @happyworld_ofharibo and @Marica0701 who in turn stole it from @saintvi…and it actually seems like a lot of people stole that survey recently  

What was the last thing you put in your mouth? Water, I just started my third bottle for the day. I aim for drinking four bottles to get the recommended 8 glasses, but I rarely make it.

Have you ever kissed anyone named Matthew? Not yet.

Where was your profile picture taken? At home, I think. I’m pretty sure I was sitting on my couch working on editing.

Can you play guitar hero? I have only tried once, and that was enough to say I had.

Name someone that made you laugh today? I haven’t laughed yet today, probably due to only talking to my mother.

How late did you stay up last night and why? I took a sleeping pill around 10pm, and was asleep by 12:30am. Now before you freak about the fact I took said meds, it’s an attempt to get myself on a sleeping schedule as I also am forcing myself to wake up at the same time every morning as well. I was writing a blog that will be posted on my wordpress site.

If you could move somewhere else, would you? Yep, I plan to move to Ireland for a couple years.

Ever been kissed under fireworks? Yes, I was visiting a boyfriend in during a Canada Day weekend, and it was a blast… Loved the city, but didn’t end up being in love with the boy.

Which of your friends lives closest to you? Buttercup lives a couple blocks away, and pretty much everyone else lives out of town. I seriously need to make some new friends here.

Do you believe exes can be friends? Yes. While we aren’t close, I remain on a friendly basis with most my ex-boyfriends.

How do you feel about Dr Pepper? It gets a no thanks.

When was the last time you cried really hard? It’s actually been a while, and I actually cannot remember. I’m sure it was during a fight with my parents as they are usually the only people who frustrate me to tears.

Where are you right now? In my room.

What bed did you sleep in last night? I started falling asleep on the couch, but soon moved to my own bed.

What was the last thing someone bought for you for dinner? Oh goodness, let me think… A friend was supposed to buy me dinner but forgot his wallet, so it had to be before that. It has to be @Karoline1982 when I went to visit her before she moved. Blarney chips, yummm.

Who took your profile picture? Whomever got their hands on my phone when I was distracted.

Who was the last person you took a picture of? Myself, actually. I am taking a picture at the end of each month I exercise in hope that I’ll eventually see progress.

Was yesterday better than today? I’d say they are about the same at this point. Get up, exercise, shower, have breaky, procrastinate, eat lunch, deal with mum, more procrastination…you get the idea. 

Can you live a day without TV? Yes, I haven’t had cable in years and only watch a movie maybe once a week. I’d much rather read a book or drag Buttercup out on a walk.

Are you mad about anything? Not seriously mad, maybe just annoyed. At myself for not being diligent with my editing. At my parents and the drama they create. At the economy, because it sucks….

Are you upset about anything? The above.

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? Yes. The world is based on relationships: family, friends, lovers, coworkers, enemies, whatever. Some are worth keeping and some aren’t, but in general it’s what keeps the world on turning.

Are you a bad influence? I doubt it.

Night out or night in? Depends on my mood. Sometimes I just want to relax with a book or a movie, other times I’m full of energy and raring to go dancing!

What items could you not go without during the day? Water, my cell phone, a book.

Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? My cousin when she had her baby girl.

What does the last text message in your inbox say? “Okay. I can meet u there around 645ish”

How do you feel about your life right now? It’s a work in progress.

Do you hate anyone? I don’t think it would do much good if I did.

If we were to look in your xanga inbox, what would we find? Mostly mass messages from people telling me where their new blogging site is.

Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? I probably don’t even have the graval in my system anymore, so I’m going with yes.

Has anyone ever called you perfect before? No, I don’t recall that anyone has.

What song is stuck in your head? “Dance Ten Looks Three” from The Chorus Line.

Someone knocks on your window at 2am, who do you want it to be? I’m not sure I’d want anyone tapping on my window at that time of night. It would scare the bejabbers out of me! But if I got a warning text, then any of my besties breaking me loose

Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50? I am nearly thirty and not even married, let along with kids, so even if I had a child in the next five years said offspring sure as heck better not be producing babies before I’m fifty!

Name something you have to do tomorrow? Edit. I must, must, must edit this freaking huge manuscript.

Do you think too much or too little? Sometimes I think too much and other times not enough… and it’s usually too much thinking when I should just go for it, and not enough forethought when I should consider things more.

Do you smile a lot? More often than not.

Who was your last missed call on your Mobile phone? Heck if I know. I don’t have call display.

Is there something you always wear? You will rarely see me without my claddagh ring on, as I only take it off when I’m at home.

What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Eating a late lunch and making a grocery list.

Did you have an exciting last weekend? Yes! First Buttercup and I went on a walk, then Brandi came to visit me, and finally L&B stopped by on their way through town. 

Have you ever crawled through a window?  I have more than once! I locked myself out of the house a few times, and when I was younger my cousin and I were sneaking out while we were on our summer holiday at the cottages. I think we went skinny dipping

Have you ever dyed your hair? Four whole times within a two-year period.

Are you wearing a necklace? Not at the moment, but I usually wear the necklace my parents got me for a uni grad present.

Are you an emotional person? I think I may be.

What’s something that can always make you feel better? A good book, chocolate, singing when no one is around, getting a hug.

Will this weekend be a good one? Not particularly.

What do you want right now? I want to want to edit, but I really don’t actually want to do it. That I somehow won the lottery. A really gorgeous, sweetheart of an Irishman who is single to be lost and knock on my door. You get the idea…

Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s clothing? Yep. Turned an old shirt of my dad’s into a dress, borrowed a cute guy’s jacket/sweater when I was cold, wear ties for belts…

Have you ever worked in a food place? Yes, at a coffee shop and for a pizzeria –though that was for school pizza days and not actually in the restaurant.

What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? At this point, no idea.

Does anyone know your xanga password? If they do, I’m not aware of the fact. 

SUMR

 

I’m kind of amazed I can still post…

One of the things I like about xanga is the “friends lock”. Yes this might seem rather exclusionary of me, but I want to be able to control who had access to my inner thoughts and my life. Not so much that I don’t want to make new friends, but rather the need to keep specific people out. I complain about work, whinge about my family, drool over crushes, and what have you. If an employer, boytoy, or parental unit found out some of the things that go through my mind it would make for some awkward situations… or worse. This was my place to vent in a location I knew would be kept private. I mean, I couldn’t even keep a diary because my mom and brother would snoop. I even caught a friend of mine at a sleepover sneaking a peak! 

Because of this need to limit the eyes perusing my posts, I have put a privacy blocker on my new wordpress account. The funny thing is only three people currently can see what I write, because they asked to be permitted. I don’t know how y’all do that exactly, but I have sent out invitations (and if you didn’t get one, let me know your user name and I’ll add you) yet none accepted. This is a bit frustrating, because it feels like our community has fallen apart. 

It is like once the news of Xanga 2.0 came out, everyone claimed they wanted to stay in touch and then went their separate ways. Very few people are actually making an effort to keep old friendships alive by all appearances. If you want to see where I am blogging my thoughts now, go here http://jaikaies.wordpress.com/  If it says you need permission to view my site, request it! I will gladly add you, and if for some reason I don’t then all you have to do is send me a message, email, FB im, comment, or whatever with your user name and I’ll be sure you’re one of the privileged few to enter my crazy world. 

SUMR