September 17, 2012

• Boy oh boy

  I am using this as a form of procrastination as I still have about a dozen pages left to edit before I was supposed to take a break, but Karo texted me about her new post and I was only able to resist for nine pages before going to check it out. After reading her lamentable history with the opposite gender, I decided to answer Karoline1982's question at the end of her post and share my dating history. 

  Unlike Karo, I think I would like to have a significant other at this stage in my life. I have finally graduated from school, have a job I enjoy (okay, I have two jobs which would be perfect if I could combine them into one with only the good parts of the positions), and am in a place emotionally that I finally feel ready to try for something lasting. My biggest problem with this is that the guys my age, say 25-35, never look at me twice as they think I'm just a kid. 

  I have always been a bit too scared to date much and tend to just have crushes, so I don't have an extensive dating history. In fact, I don't have an extensive history with dealing with guys in general and have decided that I shall include boyfriends, dates, friends, and current relationships of unknown status.  

  So here is the Boys of Sumr:

  1) Country Boy: At first I thought this guy was really sweet and caring, but I soon learned that he just liked young and naive. I should have known better than to date him since I met him through my brother (whom I have not gotten along with since I was three), but I was fooled by his charm. I had never so much as been on a date before, and he was constantly trying to get in my clothes. I never let him cross the line... which is probably why he cheated on me. I also learned he wasn't the brightest when I overheard a girl in my class talking about the new guy in her life and even happened to see them together. While she and I were not friends, we did go to the same school and were in the same grade! I dumped the eejit, and his next actual girlfriend (as opposed to the FWB) ended up dropping out of school because she got preggers. 

  2) Choir Boy: With my next boyfriend, I went in the complete opposite direction. Instead of a guy a few years older than myself, this one was actually a couple years younger (which I did not know at first), as well as being more on the quiet and shy side than outgoing charmer. Things were going all right until we realized that the only time we got to see each other was at church/youth group since neither of us had our license, plus he failed to realize how psycho my mum could be and ended up getting me grounded for three weeks just for calling me.  I obviously didn't want to be dating a guy whom I never got to see and failed to actually listen to me. 

  3) Fly Boy: Now this guy was not actually a boyfriend, but rather more of a complex friendship. We would flirt and hang out, but I refused to date him when he asked over the first year of our friendship. He was cute and sweet, but no sparks. Whenever we were both back home from uni visiting our respective parents, we would hang out... and I guess one summer he decided that wasn't enough for him. He kissed me, and I let him. This kept up for the rest of the summer and I guess I was trying to be attracted to him because he was such a great guy, but still nothing. For pity's sake we were such good friends I knew who he lost his virginity to! I found out that the reason that some of my friends disliked him was because he apparently "acts like a horn-dog" whenever he wasn't around me, so I guess I brought out the best in him *shrug* 

  4) Family Boy: This boyfriend started as a set up by a couple friends, and he was a cross between an adult and a child. He had a full-time job and was looking for a serious relationship, but he was a bit on the immature and nerdy side... and still lived with his parents. He was in a band (great guitarist, questionable singer), always wanted us to pay dutch (though he had a job and I was a student), and never actually put the effort into planning a date before asking (ie, going to see a movie that was no longer playing in a theatre that didn't have any matinees that day).  He also wanted me to convert to his denomination, transfer to a school closer to him, and had our kids names picked before we even reached three months. 

  5) Crush Boy: We are friends and have never been anything more, but I used to have a serious crush on him. This guy is an absolute darling who tells it like it is, never hesitates to gives hugs, is incredibly generous, and loves to read. The downside is that he smokes and his faith is somewhat in question, which are two things I would never tolerate in a boyfriend and that might be how I got over my crush on him. Nevertheless, I hope we'll always be good friends. 

  6) E-Boy: During my post-grad I discovered a few of my friends and relatives were trying online dating AND every time people heard I did not have a bf they asked if I'd tried any dating sites, so I decided to give it a go. I ended up emailing dozens of guys, but the majority of them have very little patience since I refused to actually meet anyone until I knew a bit about them first. I actually only met one guy (others were in the running, but I ended up moving). He was sweet and we spent hours chatting at a bookshop, but though he said he wanted to get together again, we never did. I wish he was willing to stay in touch as he was interesting to talk to, but he didn't put any effort into it and so I gave up. 

  7) Cast Boy: This guy is a member of the play I am in and he is my love interest in the script, so I'm not entirely sure if we are actually interested in each other or just allowing ourselves to think we are in order to build chemistry for the performance --not that I'm sure he is interested in me at all. We kind of flirt a wee bit, and he tries to talk me into giving him a shoulder-massage whenever he can. He walked me to my car when I didn't want to go to the parking lot alone in the dark, we stopped for ice cream after rehearsal one night (his treat!), and he asked who the guy on my cell phone wallpaper is (me, the stanley cup, and a hockey player). He's a bit intense and works a lot, leaving barely enough time to make half the rehearsals let alone having time to date, but I hope we at least stay in touch and become friends if nothing else comes of it.  

  8) Baby Boy: This was somewhat unexpected in regards to another cast mate who fills in for Cast Boy when he can't make rehearsals. The guy is a good seven or eight years younger than me, and seemed so incredibly shy that I kind of took him under my wing even though I'm not exactly a veteran. He sent me an email thanking me for helping to make his first experience with the theatre more comfortable, and asked if I wanted to get together for coffee sometime to run lines and chat. He doesn't exactly have any lines since he's technically just an extra, but wanted to help me practice my lines (he learned it was my first major role and was terrified of screwing up). How sweet is that?! During the past few weeks of rehearsal we learned we both have an interest in scriptwriting and directing, so I think I actually will meet up with him even though I wouldn't count it as a date. 

  So there you have it, my three boyfriends, two of my friends, two cast mates, and one date... from the past fifteen years. Is this pathetic, average, or more than the usual/expected? Is there a pattern to my choices I should be aware of? Is there someone in particular you think I should give a second chance to? Any other commentary about the contenders? 

  What is your dating history? 

  SUMR

  • 8:27 pm
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